Father of the Pride: Sigfried and Roy's apprentice
by JFox101
Summary: Harry Potter was abandoned by his relatives in Las Vegas. After stumbling upon Sigfried and Roy's secret garden, he is taken in by white lions Kate and Larry after discovering he cant talk to them. FINALLY A CROSSOVER PEOPLE!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:Sigfried and Roy's Garden**

Harry Potter watched with wonder and awe as Sigfried and Roy emerged from the box of swords unscathed.

"Yes. Yes. We are fabulous." Sigfried said in his German accent as he and Roy waved to the crowd who was cheering.

The homeless child had scrounged and saved enough American money to buy a ticket to the famous magician's show. The eight year old had been dumped by his relatives two months ago when they came to Las Vegas for a vacation. The young human had a few tricks up his sleeve as well though. See he was a street performer now. A young magician with lots of talent. One rubber ball became 9 which fell into one rubber ball again. Trick of the mind? Or illusion? The rubber ball becomes 9 white doves. Unknown to the child, this was his own magic ant not the same kind as Sigfried and Roy's either.

You see, when Harry James Potter was an infant, an evil wizard known as Voldemort had tracked him and his family down to Godric's Hollow where they where living. He killed Harry's father first. then his mother begged and pleaded for his life before he killed her as well. But for some unknown reason, the curse that killed his parents and so many others before him bounced off of him leaving only a lightning shaped scar on his forehead. But, that is all in the past now. What matters is the present. Where we find our young hero standing in front of a large gate.

After wandering the city for almost a year now, he had pretty much known where everything was. Except for the rumored Secret Garden of Sigfried and Roy where their show animals lived. The two magicians where...very enthusiastic about their animals and gave them everything from houses, to televisions, to art for their homes. Harry wondered if he finally found it at last. He saw a tree and climbed it. After getting into a comfortable spot he looked out past the gate.

"Wow." He said in awe. There where animals of all kinds walking upright. He looked over to see an elephant holding a gopher and glaring at him.

"You think you can screw with me because I am a pacifist. But I expect full compensation for all damages." He heard the elephant say in an Indian accent.

Harry shook his head in shock. Did he just hear an elephant speak? He obviously needed to sleep. He slipped, fell backwards out of the tree and blacked out.

When Harry woke it was morning. He was behind bushes for some reason. He shrugged and sat cross legged on the grass before taking his rucksack out and getting out his water bottle and loaf of bread and block of cheese he had managed to swipe from a store. He hated stealing. But that was the life of a street rat. After a third of the loaf and block was gone and half his water, Harry climbed the tree again to see if he was where he thought he was after remembering the events of the previous afternoon. Again. He saw the same elephant.

"I know you didn't come without my money Bee-yatch." The elephant said

"Wow." Harry said again. He could understand animals! He slipped...again. Except this time, he fell forward. Into the animals compound.

**To Be Continued...**

**I believe this takes place in the episode after the pilot. Where Snack the Gopher has trashed the elephant's home and he's angry at him. **

**BTW, keep on the lookout for a guest appearance from a certain foxy guest star! **

**Review Review Review!**

**Dean the Cuddly Fox**


	2. Chapter 2: Catnip and Trust Part 1

**Chapter 2: Catnip and Trust Part 1**

**Summary: Its been six months since Harry was taken in by Larry and Kate. White lions in Sigfried and Roy's show. Since the two drop in at unexpected times, they let him use the guest room. But since then, he's become a part of the lions family. After Finding Catnip in Harry's room, Larry and Kate are worried the young human will turn out to be a druggie. Then their attentions turn to Sierra when she starts acting oddly too. **

**Opening: Viva Las Vegas (Father of the Pride opening sung by John Goodman. Check it out on Youtube)**

Kate and Larry are attending a PTA meeting about the Honors Program at the community high school.

"And that was Copper Kettle." The leader of the program, a hefty white lioness said as the choir finished the song. "Sung by our Honors Choir. One of the many advantages your child wi ll have if they are chosen for our Honors Program."

"You don't say?" Larry whispered dully. Kate hit him in his stomach lightly. "Ow."

"Thank you all for coming-" Ms. Fafi was cut off as Larry tried to leave but was pulled back by Kate.

"And thank you Ms. Fafi for a delightful evening of song and discussion." Kate said to the lioness at the podium.

"I'd love that program for Sierra." Kate said as she and Larry walked up to their front door. "The kids seemed really neat."

"Uh huh. What's wrong with you?" Larry asked skeptically.

"Larry. This is a great opportunity for her." Kate said.

"Hey the doors locked." Larry said suddenly as the five hundred pound lion jiggled the door handle. "Sierra! Harry!" He called through the door as Kate peered through the door.

"Uh, in a minute!" Sierra called as rustling was heard. "You guys are back early." Sierra said.

"Why was the door locked?" Kate asked as the lioness raised an eye.

Sierra moved around.

"I don't know." Harry spoke up from the tree limb that their children climbed on. He was reading a People magazine. "A better question would be; Why do we live in a world where the doors need locks?" Kate noticed he was breathing heavily for some reason.

Staring up at the boy in confusion then at each other Larry spoke up, "The kid's got us there."

Shaking the weirdness off Kate and Larry entered their home. "Your gonna love the Gifted and Talented program honey." She said to the lioness teenager. Mrs. Fafi's coming over in a couple of days for the interview."

"Oh. Great." Sierra said fidgeting with her paw pads nervously. "Awesome."

"Mmm, these flowers are pretty."She picked up the vase of flowers "Where did they come from?"

"Uh." Sierra said nervously.

"I picked them!" Harry said from the branch. "Sierra thought they'd look nice in the living room and asked me to get them cause you guys don't have thumbs heheh." he laughed nervously.

"You picked them?" Kate asked the boy skeptically.

"Yep."Sierra said then, "Excuse us for wanting to make things beautiful around here." She snapped at the lioness before taking the vase and going to her room. Supposedly.

"She's in a weird mood." Kate said.

"Maybe she senses a Copper Kettle in her future." Harry said from behind People. He had been hanging around the teen a lot lately and knew about the Gifted and Talented Choir.

Kate looked up at Harry who smiled sheepishly at the lioness.

The next morning, Kate is dusting in Harry's room. She picked up the vase from the last night and something fell from under it. After getting a good look she gasped.

"Larry!" She called out to the living room where Larry was laying down on the couch."Oh my god! Get in here!"

Larry jerked awake as Sarmoti walked by. "Boy did my daughter hit the jackpot when she married you." The elderly lion said sarcastically.

Kate came running into the living room. "This is a nightmare! Look what I just found in Harry's room." She handed the small ziplock bag to Larry. "Please tell me this isn't what I think it is." She begged.

"Yep. That's Catnip." Larry said narrowing his eyes slightly after sniffing the bag.

"Oh my god. Harry's a Niphead." Kate said suddenly.

"Nice." Sarmoti said sarcastically. "You run a tight ship champ."

"This explains the locked doors. The weird attitude last night."

"Look, he's growing up. He's bound to experiment a little." Larry said in an effort to calm his wife down.

"Bound to experiment." Sarmoti chuckled. "Way to parent with authority. Call me when he knocks up a girl." He hit Larry in the stomach lightly with a newspaper and left.

"We've failed as parents." Kate said sadly. We've completely failed. And the worst part is, he's not even ours biologically." She let out a frustrated groan. "Why is he doing this? When I was young I never tried Catnip. Did you?" She asked her husband.

"Me?" Larry asked nervously. "Catnip? Never." He shook his head.

Snack the gopher suddenly appeared on their tree limb. "Hey kitty cats. What's happening?" He asked hopping onto the couch.

"We just found this in Harry's room." Larry said handing the nip to the gopher.

"Ahhh." Snack chuckled. "This must take you back Lar." He turned to Kate. "Always had the good stuff. Huh buddy? Always a party at Larry's. Lots and lots of ladies." He laughed at the memory. "Some say they where just there for the nip, but hey at least they was there. This ring any bells?" He suddenly started spinning on his back really fast. "Woooohey!" He stood on his head as he finshed and Larry stopped him.

"Heh, he's not doing it right." Larry said nervously.

"I don't care about that." Kate said. "We have a serious situation here. Today. Now. What are we gonna do?"

"Okay calm down." Larry said grabbing her hips. "We'll just talk to him about it."

"Great." Kate said sarcastically. "And what if he asks if you did it when you where a kid?"

"Duh..." Larry said stupidly. Not knowing the answer.

"Exactly." Kate said. "We NEED professional help."

They turned their needs to Chutney the elephant.

"It is a good thing you came to see me about the boy." Chutney said as he lit a candle with his trunk. "I've seen it all in my long life." Larry and Kate glanced at each other before Chutney went on. "Ravishankard. The Beatles, that whole crazy scene. Fact." He swung his trunk lightly. "I am Lucy. From Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds. You don't know this because that damn Mccartney wants credit for everything." The Hindu elephant glared at the mention of Paul Mccartney.

"Your Lucy?" Larry asked skeptically. "But your a guy."

"It was a weird time for all of us." Chutney said nervously as Kate and Larry glanced at each other again skeptically. "Ahem." Chutney cleared his throat. "So. Harry is a nip jockey?"

"Well, we don't know for sure, but we're very concerned." Kate said.

"You should be." Chutney said seriously. "We're talking Gateway Drug here man. First its a little Catnip. Then its onto Horse Tranquilizers. And before you know it their "darting."

"Darting?" Larry asked.

"Sleep Darts." Chutney said simply. "Watch." He pointed a remote control with his trunk at a television. "This is a rare video shot by an associate of mine in Africa."

They turned to the tv. It showed wild white lions running through the African Savannah. Suddenly a human hunter shoots one with a dart and he collapses.

"So?" Larry asked skeptically.

"Watch what happens when I slow it down and blow it up." The elephant did so.

The lion is shown smiling as the dart strikes going "Ohhhh yeah." As he brings his legs up in the air.

"This is more footage of the same lion." Chutney continued. "Look how cunning he becomes on his search for the sweet nectar."

Another hunter tries to shoot a different lion. But the same lion hangs from a tree on his hind legs and he stretches as he is sent to sleep when the dart hits his stomach going "Ohhhh yeah." Again.

"Sadly, this is how they all end up." Chutney siad. And the same lion is seen in a human city with a ski mask on his head as he twirls his whiskers near a truck for a tranquilizer company. He sneaks up to the truck and jumps in the driver seat, laughing maniacally before driving into the wall causing the truck to explode.

"Fact." Chutney finished. "There where no remains."

Harry is reading a new magazine. Teen People. On the sofa in the living room when Kate flings the Catnip onto the coffee table. "What's that?" The young human asked.

"Don't get cute." Kate said sternly to the boy. "This isn't a game Harry. That is Catnip. Or as your friends might call it, Mulch, Snorkle, Monkey Junk, Street Cheese, or Siamese Coleslaw."

"What?" The boy asked. "You think that's mine?" He pointed to the nip.

"We found it in your room." Larry said to his adopted son.

"Oh my god. You searched my room. What happened to privacy?"

"We saw a video about a druggie who burned to death in a truck. We're not gonna let that happen to you." Larry said firmly.

"Well its not mine!" Harry insisted. His emerald green eyes glaring up at the lions.

"Then whose is it?" The lioness demanded.

"I don't know, maybe one of Sierra's friends hid it there." Harry suggested. "Or maybe its Sigfried and Roy's. That would definitely explain the outfits." He chuckled half heartedly.

"Uh huh, we're supposed to believe that?" Kate asked with a small glare.

"Yeah, because its the truth." Harry insisted. "Oh my god." He said in a hurt tone. "You don't trust me."

"No we don't trust you." Kate said. "For all we know your high on the...Freedman...right this minute."

"Uh, honey that's the name of the doctor who did the study." Larry pointed out.

"You guys are insane." Harry snapped.

"No. We're a new generation of parents. We had a lot of fun, so now you don't have to." Larry snapped back.

"Well congratulations!" Harry shouted. "I didn't want to do drugs before, but maybe now I will!"

"Your grounded." Larry shot back.

"You guys are the worst parents EVER!" Harry shouted before running to his room and slamming the door.

"No we're not! My parents where!" Larry said pointing to himself.

**To Be Continued...**

**This is from Episode 2 (After the Pilot) Catnip and Trust. Where Kate and Larry think Sierra is on Catnip (Think Pot for humans) And they panic. **

**Review Review Review!**

**Dean the Cuddly Fox **


	3. Chapter 3: Catnip and Trust Part 2

**A/N: Though Hunter, Kate and Larry's son, is ten years old, two years older than Harry, he is very immature for his age. So Harry could easily manipulate him. **

**And I revised Mrs. FAUFI's name. it sounds like her name is Faufi. Not Fafi. **

**Chapter 3: Catnip and Trust Part 2**

Larry and Kate are lying in bed together. Larry was reading a restaurant menu, while Kate was reading _Raising Your Child_. A child psychology book.

Kate put her book down and sighed. "Larry-"

Larry cut her off."Someday, when the kids are out of the house. You and me, we're going to this place." He said eagerly tapping the menu with his paw pad.

"I feel bad about how we handled things with Harry." The lioness said with a guilty tone, "Were we right not to trust him?"

"I think so." Larry said. "I mean, he is almost a teenager. Plus he's really smart for his age. That and he hangs around Sierra a lot."

"Let's at least tell him we still love him and he's a part of our family still." Kate suggested.

"Good idea." Larry agreed and the two lions made their way to Harry's room. "Harry." He said as he flicked on the light switch. They saw a whimpering lump under the covers of the feline bed. After all, Sigfried and Roy would get suspicious of a human bed in a feline house.

"Honey." Kate said to the whimpering lump. "We need to talk about earlier." Larry pulled the covers off.

"Hunter?" Larry asked in shock. "What are you doing in Harry's bed?"

"He said if I didn't pretend to be him he'd hire mafia hit men to kill Santa." Hunter said with a whine.

Larry chuckled as he sat down. "Don't worry buddy, there's no Santa." He patted Hunter's back.

"W-w-what?" Hunter asked in stunned disbelief as he scratched his arm.

They interrogated the ten year old for a while.

"Hunter, I'm not going to ask you again, where is Harry?" Larry asked firmly.

"I don't know." Hunter insisted.

"Come on honey, where did your brother go?" Kate asked kindly as to not upset him further as he had anxiety issues.

"Um." Hunter said, thinking. "Doozledorf (Spelling?), the Powerhouse of Industrial Germany."

"Hunter come on, I helped you with that Geography report." Kate said calmly.

"Okay, so you wanna play hardball." Larry said confidently. He suddenly found a spray bottle next to a rose bush in a pot on Harry's desk. "Oh, what's this?" He asked sarcastically, picking the bottle up. "Oh water! As I recall little kitty cats don't like water." He said hoping his son would catch on."

He did. "I don't know where he is!" Hunter said, panicking a little.

"I've cracked harder nuts than you mister." Larry said as he twirled the bottle like a human would a gun. Then he sprayed himself in the face accidentally. "OH! I'm hit! Oh! Officer down!" He fell backwards onto he floor. Kate shook her head.

"Um." Hunter said, thinking. "Maybe he went to the Rave?"

"The rave?" Kate asked.

"I heard some older kids talking about it."

They enlisted the help of Snack to find this Rave.

"I didn't know there was a Rave scene in our community." Kate said as the lions and gopher walked up to a place that had upbeat techno bursting through the walls and laser lights flooding the sky.

"Oh yeah." Snack said. "They throw down once a month. You see all the craziest kids here." He walked up to a monkey. "Hey man, what's up?" They did a special handshake and the monkey ushered Snack to go ahead. But put up a paw at Kate and Larry. "Its cool Ping Pong, their with me." He pointed to himself. Ping Pong told them to go ahead too. "Oh. And if you need to chill, check out the Morrockin' Room. Happenin'." The gopher left the two lions at the door.

"Harry!"

"Harry!" The lions called as they entered the room of dancing animals.

"Hey baby." An alligator on roller skates chuckled to Kate as he rubbed his belly while dancing.

"Its gonna be tough to find him in this crowd." Kate said as she ignored the alligator flirt.

"Just stay behind me." Larry said as he moved on.

The alligator moved in front of her and threw off his sun glasses. "Oh yeah," He said as he poured oil on himself. "I'm on FIRE." He said in a sexy voice. Kate merely pushed him away and followed her husband.

They called Harry's name again. Then spotted Snack at a DJ's table.

"Hey party people!" Snack called. "What comes before Part B?" He held up a record. "PART A!" He put the record on and started rubbing the disks with his feet.

Larry put a finger on one the disk he was rubbing and he was thrown to the floor by the stopping. The music stopped. As did the dancing.

"Burning up." The alligator said as he rolled backward, rubbing his belly.

"Uh, excuse me." Larry said. "We're looking for our son. Have any of you seen him? He's human, you may have noticed him around the neighborhood lately."

"No." Someone said in the crowd.

"Kid, its okay, we love you." Larry said out to the crowd.

"I love you too Daddy." Came from the crowd. Suddenly a female flamingo attatched herself to Larry. She started sobbing. "I don't wanna live with mom anymore." She sobbed again.

"Uh, okay." Larry said picking her off himself and showing her the speaker.

"I love you speaker!" She continued sobbing.

"Uh, I'm gonna go home now. Heh, sorry to interrupt." He started to leave. "Oh and by the way, if any of you who go to school with my daughter Sierra touch her, I'll rip out your intestines and eat them while you watch."

"Woah." Someone said in disbelief.

"Have fun everybody." As soon as the music was back the party was back. Even Blake and Victoria, the white tigers, where there.

"He's not here let's go." Larry said. But before they could leave a teen white lion flung a ring of sausages around Kate.

"Congratulations. I crown you Miss Most Likely to Make Out With Me."

"Henry Davis?" Kate asked the teen pushing him away. "I'm in a book club with your MOTHER."

Henry gaped. "Abort, abort abort." He backed away doing the robot as they left.

They stayed up until dawn waiting for the human. Even Sierra came back at One from her study session with her friends. "Ugh, this is our fault." Kate said in distress. "He ran away because we didn't trust him." She sighed. "God I'm exhausted. And starving."

"Have one of these." Larry said, plucking one of the sausages from the rope. They both ate a sausage just as Harry walked in the door.

"Harry. Thank god your all right." The lioness said as she hugged the messy haired child. "Where have you been?

"That's right-" Larry started before he was cut off.

"Your father and I are very upset with you." Kate said.

"That's absolutely right and you-"

"You are going to learn a whole new meaning for the word punishment."

"You got that right. When I was-"

"When I was your age I would have NEVER done something like this."

"Kate, let me shout something your taking all the good stuff." Larry complained.

"Where have you been?" Kate asked as she crossed her arms angrily. "And don't say the rave because we where there."

"Why should I tell you? You won't believe me anyway." Harry said walking between the lions toward his room.

"Hold it young man. Your not going anywhere until you tell us where you've been all night." Larry insisted making Harry stop and sigh.

"I was with Grandpa okay?" He said.

"Huh?" Kate asked in confusion.

"Sarmoti?" Larry asked.

"Yeah. You guys where so heinous for not believing me that I needed to talk to someone. I had to find someone who knew where he went after he went to the Watering Hole. By the way, NEVER ask the Snout Brothers for ANYTHING after they've had more than twenty beers." He shuddered. "They tried to use me as a dumb bell after hitting on me. Homophobes my butt." He rubbed where they slapped him repeatedly.

Larry looked shocked at the dumbell and flirting with him comment. "Can we go back to when you where maybe on drugs?"

" I guess I lost track of time cause I woke up in his "girlfriend's." He made quote marks. "Guest room."

"Well this is unacceptable. Your father and I where very very furried about you." Kate said. Then she giggled. "Hey Larry, check it out. I just said "Furried."

Larry chuckled. "'s awesome. Who are you?" He asked dumbly.

They both started giggling madly.

Harry stared at his adoptive parents. "Are you guys okay?" Sierra came into the room.

"What's going on?" She asked the young human.

"Now aren't you glad I didn't say banana?" Larry laughed.

"I don't get it." Kate laughed.

"Me either." Larry laughed some more.

"They just started acting weird all of a sudden." Harry said in confusion..

"Ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba!" Larry semi sang.

"Oh my god. Have you guys lost your minds?" He asked in concern.

"Larry, can I talk to you?" Kate asked, ushering her husband into the other room.

"I feel funny." Kate said.

"Me too. I haven't felt this way since...oh my god it just hit me! There must have been Nip in those sausages!" Larry said suddenly.

Kate gasped. "What are we gonna do?"

"Oh my god it just hit me. There must have been Nip in those sausages!" Larry repeated dumbly. The Nip affecting him harder because he had a whole sausage.

Kate growled in frustration.

There was a loud knock on the door. Sierra answered it.

"You must be Sierra." Mrs. Faufi said as she walked in. "I'm Mrs. Faufi from the Gifted and Talented program. are you ready for your evaluation?" She then saw Harry. "Are you all right dear?" Mrs. Faufi asked the young human she recognized from the previous night. "You just up and left."

"Yes ma'am." Harry said. "I just realized what time it was and that I needed to get home."

"He-hey!" Larry called. "I know you! Copper kettle. Co-opper Kettle!" He stood up like a rocker.

**To Be Continued...**

**Next chapter will be a bit short. **

**Review Review Review! **

**Dean the Cuddly Fox **


	4. Chapter 4: Catnip and Trust Part 3

**Chapter 4: Catnip and Trust Part 3**

"So...anyway to make a long story short, the gazelle stomped out the fire and we got he heck outta there." Larry finished the story he was telling Mrs. Faufi.

"That's fascinating, but I asked you if you had any more children." Mrs. Faufi said dully.

"Right..." Larry trailed off. "Kate do you want to handle this one?" The lion asked his wife.

"Awesome..." Kate said dragging her hand in front of her face back and forth.

"I have a brother named Hunter." Sierra cut in. "And of course you know about our resident human." The two looked to the tree limb where Harry smiled down nervously. Keeping an eye on the two high lions the whole time.

"Mom, dad, why don't you go get us something to drink?" Sierra suggested, pushing them into the other room. "Eheheh, their not morning people." She supplied.

"I think we're doing really well." Larry said to Kate as she brought a pitcher of lemonade out of the kitchen into the mini-hallway.

"Yeah." Kate agreed. "But I don't know how much longer I can be cool."

"But we have to hold it together for Sierraaaaa..." He started patting his belly like a drumb. "Oh my god Kate you gotta try this."

Kate put the side of her face to Larry's belly and "Ahhed" With the vibrations.

"I-I love history." Sierra said to Mrs. Faufi as she looked around the living room. "My term paper, was about the role of lions in early Christianity."

There was a loud crash.

"And science. I like science."

"Er, excuse me for a second Mrs. Faufi." Harry said from the tree limb as to not interrupt Sierra's interview. Harry jumped down and went into the mini-hallway.

"What the heck is going on? Then he saw the sausages and gasped. "Holy crap." He picked up the ring of sausages. "Are these Nipped sausages?" Then it made sense. The weirdness, the strange story telling for the first hour. "Oh my god. After all the lectures and the judgements how could you guys be such hypocrites?"

Kate simply said "Drugs are bad." And then she and Larry had stupid grins on their faces.

"I can't deal with this right now." Harry groaned and threw the sausages down on the floor. "I promised Sierra I'd help her with the interview. Okay? Just stay in here and don't blow this for her." He went back into the living room.

"Are your parents alright?" Mrs. Faufi asked the young human as he sat down to his lioness sister.

"Uh...yeah." Harry said nervously. "Their great. Their so great that they want challenge us and have us finish this interview by_ ourselves_." He put a little emphasis on ourselves to let Sierra know they wouldn't be interrupted by them.

"That's them." Sierra caught on waving it off. "Always encouraging my independence." She went on. "Promoting curiousity, challenging me intellectually."

"Wheee!" Kate's voice came from the front yard. The three looked out the window and saw Larry rolling Kate around as if she where in a tire.

"Your like this giant doughnut!" Larry laughed.

"Push me faster! I wanna go back in time!" Kate said eagerly.

"Well I think I've seen enough." Mrs. Faufi said as she left the window. "Thank you for a very interesting visit." She said semi-sarcastically.

"Larry go long!" Kate's voice came from the right of the walkway up to the house and Larry collided into Mrs. Faufi from the side as the football his wife had thrown landed on the walkway.

Sierra and Harry shook their heads in dismay.

The next morning Kate and Larry where lying on the couch with a blanket around them. They where down from their high and not feeling good.

"Ugh, we've ruined our daughter's life." Kate said as Sierra put two coffee cups down on the table in front of the couch.

"Thank's honey." Larry said appreciatively.

"Sierra, Harry we are so, so sorry." Kate said in an apologetic tone to their daughter and human son.

Harry scoffed from the tree limb reading a John Grisham book. "Whatever."

"To be fair." Kate said to Harry. "We did find Catnip in your room."

Harry slammed his book shut angrily after putting a bookmark in the book. "For the LAST time. That wasn't my Nip!"

"Mhm." Kate mumbled skeptically as the door opened and Sarmoti walked in.

"Ahh, what a night." Sarmoiti said as he stretched. "Martha the lion...not much of a looker." He said. "But, heh, worth it for the breakfast." He walked over to a cabinet. "Hey." He said. "Where's my vase?" He asked using the tone for the expensive, irreplacable form of the word.

"Your vase?" Larry asked in dismay. Realizing they where wrong about the Nip after all.

"Yeah, the green one with the butterflies painted on it." Sarmoti nodded.

"And Catnip stashed in the bottom?" Kate finished.

"Yeah that's the one. I'm gonna need that back." The elderly lion said in between their heads. "Eh, not the vase so much." He whispered.

"The Cantip was yours?" Harry asked in an upset tone. "I got blamed for that!"

"Tough break kid." Sarmoti said to his adopted grandson. "Don't do drugs. Stay in school."

"That's it?" Kate asked in disbelieving shock. "Dad we just blew Sierra's chances to get into the Honors Program." She got up and made the blanket slide off of the two lions. "I mean, what kind of example are you setting?"

"Him?" Harry asked in disbelief. He could handle Sarmoti using a little catnip, he was old and worked hard all his life. "What about you?" He asked his adopted mother angrily. "I told you all along that it wasn't my Nip and you didn't believe me." He crossed his arms angrily.

Kate sighed. "Your right. None of this would have happened if we'd just trusted you." She hugged the boy in apology. She felt him relax from his defensive position.

"Yeah." Larry sighed in agreement. "Just because we where a little wild as kids doesn't mean your gonna be." He said calmly. "From now on Sierra, Harry, we trust you completely."

"Excellent." Sierra said eagerly. "Cause my boyfriend's taking me camping this weekend. " She told them the complete truth. "Don't worry, we'll each have our own sleeping bags. Plus he's bringing his little brother and I'm bringing Harry so nothing's gonna happen." She insisted with a paw wave.

"That's great sweetheart." Kate said as she guided her to the kitchen leaving Larry gaping and Harry sitting on a loveseat looking on after them.

"Daughters." Sarmoti laughed at Larry. "I feel for ya." He looked around. "Seriously, where'd you put my Nip?"

The next afternoon Mrs. Faufi returned for the follow up.

"Anyways Sierra, your grades are splended and I've always been impressed with you." She continued, "But to be honest, I was inclined to reject you due to the other day's reprehensible display." The two lionesses looked to Kate and Larry on the other couch.

"By the way, sweet D on that pass." Larry said to the lioness eagerly. Kate elbowed him in the side making him grunt.

"After some reflection, I've decided to reconsider and decided to accept you after all." Mrs. Faufi told the teenager.

"WOAH! YEAH!" Larry jumped up eagerly. "You! Have really made our day!" He ran over to hug the lioness in grattitude but she nervously got up and backed away. "No, no I-"

"I wish you all the best." Martha said nervously as she backed to the door.

"Thanks Martha." Sarmoti said taking her paws in his. "Your a peach. This morning's eggs." He kissed two of his paw pads at his lips.

Martha giggled. "My pleasure." After Sarmoti opened the door she paused as they started to make out with his back to his family. His tail perked up and started wagging lightly. He had Happy Tail.

"I think I speak for everyone when I say "Ick." Harry noticed everyone's grim expression.

Their lips smacked and they broke apart when Sarmoti closed the door and put his back to the wall next to the door. "Happiness, is being a grandparent." He smiled.

**End of Catnip and Trust**

**To Be Continued...**

**That was longer than I thought it would be. cool!**

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**Dean the Cuddly Fox **


	5. Chapter 5: Possession Part 1

**Chapter ****5: Possession Part 1**

**Summary: Kate wants to spark a bit of spontaneity in her and Larry's marriage. Things go to far when Larry steals Blake and Vitoria Tiger's new big screen television. Harry is having trouble with a bully at school. So Sarmoti takes him under his wing as an african warrior. But Harry takes it a little too far. **

"Larry." Kate said as she looked for her husband. "Larry, its time to go to Blake and Victoria's party." She looked around the living room. "Come on, you promised we'd go check out the new stuff Sigfried and Roy got for their living room."

Larry had been hiding on the ceiling withe his claws embedded in it. It was straining him. Kate saw a drop of sweat fall. She looked up and saw Larry. "Move!" Larry said. He then let go and fell to the floor. "Oh, something just came out of me." He groaned.

"Why are you so against going to the tiger's party?" Kate asked her husband walking over to the mirror on the wall and checking her appearance.

"Oh, their so stuck up and weird." Larry complained. "At the last party Blake had cross dressing monkey's playing classical music."

"Its better than sitting here all night." Kate shrugged. "I mean, would it kill us to do something fun together for once?"

"We do fun stuff together all the time." Larry protested. "We sleep in the same bed fourteen hours a night." He sat on the couch as Kate stood in front of him.

"I only sleep six hours a night." Kate told her husband.

"Really?" Larry asked in confusion. "Seems like you'd get a lot more done." He looked around at her

"Larry, we need to keep our relationship fresh." Kate said as she sat down next to the five hundred pound lion. "When we where younger we used to sneak out and go skinny dipping at the Balagio (Spelling?). We where spontaneous."

"Okay." Larry said, still trying to get out of the party. "How's this for spontaneous?" He got up and rammed his head into the wall. He groaned in pain and rubbed his head chuckling nervously. "Didn't see that coming did ya?"

"That's the problem Larry. I did." Kate said sadly.

"Alright." Larry sighed, breathing heavily. "I'll go get ready for the party." He scratched his head. "But I can't remember my PIN number."

Music was coming from the hallway to the bedrooms and bathroom. "Mom, Harry's lip synching Tory Amos. Again." Sierra said as she came out.

"Oh, he must be depressed." Kate said worriedly.

"He's really sensitive lately." Sierra said in concern. "What a tool." She shook her head.

"Hey Kate." Sarmoti said as he came in from the kitchen. "What's with the suicidal chick music coming out of the can?"

"Its Harry again." Kate said sadly. "Maybe we shouldn't go to the party."

"Don't be silly." Sarmoti said waving that thought off with his paw."I'll hang out with him and cheer him up." He loved the kid like he was his own son and always appreciated the kid's eagerness to learn, but he could be a little weird like Hunter at times.

"Heeeeeerree." Came Harry's voice from the bathroom with Amos's.

"Are we absolutely sure he's not just gay?" Sarmoti asked.

At Blake and Victoria's party, classical music was playing. And Blake was seen orchestrating a group of cross dressing monkey's playing classical music. "Play. Play your chimpanzee hearts out you repulsive primates!" He said enthusiastically. "Greg your shoulder strap is slipping." He said to one in the front. "Show some class."

The chimp glared at him as he fixed the problem.

"Wow." Kate said in awe. "Sigfried and Roy really hooked them up look at all the new art!" She looked around. "And this rug. And that awesome TV. Look at that thing!" It was a wide-screen, flat panel LCD big screen television Very expensive on the current market and top of the line. "Its huge!"

Larry scoffed. "Doesn't even look like their using it." He walked up to it. And saw it was unplugged. "Monsters." He muttered with the cord in his paws.

Kate looked over and saw a mud bath. "Oh look they have a mud bath!" Two male flamingo's, a couple of Blake and Victoria's gay friends, where enjoying Martini's in it. One of the males brought up his foot and rubbed mud on his mate's neck sensually causing the other to close his eyes and mrr from the warm muck.. "Let's jump in." She said enthusiastically.

"Eh I don't know Kate." Larry said nervously. "The stuff gets caught in weird places and then it drops out when its not a good time."

"Ugh," Kate rolled her eyes. "Why don't you just admit that you don't want to do it because its something different?" She demanded.

"Kate, Larry." Victoria the white tigress said as she came over to the lion couple. "So nice to see you. Oh its so fun once in a while to get our friends together to look at all our things." Blake came up behind his wife and put his paws around her eyes.

"I'm a renegade KGP Agent." He said sexily in her ear.

"I'm a sexually ambiguous loner working at a bookstore in Deleware." Kate supplied fast. She turned around and they started sloppily making out and dry humping on the floor.

"You have a lovely home." Larry said as if he hadn't just seen what he had. He pulled Kate to the side and she started talking to him.

"See? Look at them." Kate said among Victoria's moans of pleasure. "There's still plenty of excitement in their marriage."

"I defect." Blake moaned. "I defect!"

"All right. Let's get crazy." Larry said, trying to make his wife happy. "What do you wanna do?"

"Oh I don't know." Kate said looking around. "There's a quartet, we could start dancing."

"Oh come on Kate, you know I pitch a tent when we slow dance."

"Okay, you know what Larry? I think I'm just gonna go home." Kate said.

"Wait, we'll have some fun!" Larry said quickly. "I'll go into the kitchen and eat something. Come out, burp, and you try to guess what it was I ate!" He pointed his two index pads at her. "Huh? How fun is that?"

"I'm tired Larry." Kate said as she turned around and left for home.

One of the monkey's scoffed. "Women, they don't get guys like us huh?" He asked Larry as he stared at him. "Dude, Zip me?" The primate turned around.

**To Be Continued...**

**This is from the episode "Possession" **

**And it never said whether the two flamingo's in the mud bath where male or female. And you can't really tell unless they speak in the show. But Blake and Victoria are so weird I figured they where bound to have a few gay friends. So I went with a gay male couple. **

**This is my second favorite episode cause it shows Sarmoti's paternal side more than the others do. **

**Review Review Review! **

**Dean the Cuddly Fox **


	6. Chapter 6: Ppssession Part 2

**Chapter 6: Possession Part 2**

"Harry?" Sarmoti had been looking for their resident eight year old human for a while. "Hey Harry!" He called the kid's name in the living room thinking he was in the house.

"Hey quit it!" Came Harry's voice from the street.

"Make me furless freak." Sarmoti walked to a window and saw Harry be pushed down by an older antelope kid and his John Grisham book fell from his hands. The antelope laughed.

"Anthony! Kick that kid's ass and get home!" An adult antelope with one horn cut off said to the bully. "I need ya to be there in case I pass out while smoking a cigarette." The adult walked away with a bottle of beer in his hand.

"We'll finish this tomorrow freak." The antelope kicked Harry in the ribs and left. Harry groaned and sat up on the pavement.

"So I'm guessing that punk's the reason your singing that boo hoo broad music in the bathroom." Sarmoti said as he walked up to his adopted grandson.

Harry looked down in shame. "Yeah."

"Harry you live with lions! You can't get picked on by an herbivore!"

"I know!" Harry said as he picked up his book and put his bookmark in the cover. He rubbed his elbow nervously. "What am I gonna do? I gotta wrestle him at school on tomorrow."

"Boy." Sarmoti said kneeling down and helping him up. "Its time to teach you the ancient ways of the lion." Harry perked up in confusion. "We gotta dig down past your detective novels, those innocent emerald green eyes, and the Tory Amos music, and reach the warrior within." Harry's eyes widened with excitement.

Later that night, with a crescent moon in the sky, Sarmoti had gathered his group of friends, another white lion who was a bit of a suck up to him, a panther, and an feminine leopard around a crackling fire. "Since the time of the ancient lion, warriors have gathered around the sacred fire, to bring new males into the Pride." Sarmoti said from a semi-tall rock. Harry winced lightly as the older felines roared loudly. He flinched lightly again as Sarmoti leaped toward him and landed on all fours with a roar himself. "Harry comes to join the circle of warriors."

"Mumbasa!" The felines all chanted.

"Mumbasa?" Harry asked in confusion with two black horizontal lines on each cheek.

Sarmoti looked down at him sternly. "Say it like you mean it!"

"Mumbasa!" Harry shouted eagerly.

"That's right." Sarmoti said trying to encourage the kid. "Now, the warrior excersizes." He pointed to the only other white lion. "Bernie. You be the zebra."

"Absolutely, it would be an honor to be mutilated by your adopted grandson sir." Bernie said in his suck up tone as he put the zebra skin rug on his back.

Sarmoti kneeled to the human boy. "Harry. Attack the herbivore." He pointed to Bernie.

Harry mobed toward the lion. "I'm a zebra. I'm a zebra." Bernie kept repeating. Harry made a fist and punched the lion on the chest as he didn't have razor sharp claws or teeth like the other felines did. Bernie made a fake hurt noise. "Didn't hurt." He said to the others. .

"Come on kid, show him who's boss." Sarmoti encouraged the human to try again.

Harry looked down and grinned as he saw his new target. With a swish and a groan of intense pain Bernie fell to his knees.

"A devastating blow to my pendulous sweet breads." Bernie groaned out on his knees. "Its as if your mighty in-step had crushed my nut sack sir."

"Mumbasa!" Harry shouted, feeling empowered as he tackled Bernie backwards and started wailing on him. Punch after punch, scratch after scratch with his nails. Even giving him a black eye.

"Mumbasa!" Sarmoti said with pride in his eyes as he watched his adopted grandson beat up a much larger creature than himself.

Meanwhile, Kate was home reading a book on the couch when Larry walked in the front door.

"Hi honey." Larry said in a smooth tone.

"Hey Larry, how was the rest of the party?" Kate asked

"Oh,. everyone cleared out. But I stuck around to pick up some left overs." He went back outside.

"Mhm." Kate said, not really paying attention until she heard something big being moved into the house. When she turned around she gasped.

"Betchya didn't see that coming." Larry said eagerly.

"Oh my god." The tigers very large, very expensive television was in their living room and Larry was breathing heavily but grinning. "You stole the tigers TV?"

"Yeah! For you! You said it was awesome!"

"Have you lost your mind?" Kate whirled a paw pad next to her head to symbolize craziness.

"Hey I'm a lion!" Larry said. "You where upset, I attacked!" He rubbed his hands together eagerly. "You wanted me to be spontaneous."

"Spontaneous doesn't mean stupid!" Kate said to her now she was thinking idiot husband.

"It doesn't?" Larry asked stupidly. "See, I'm totally out of my tups here." He waved his hands lightly as he said this.

Kate groaned. "What I wanted was for us to be crazy together!"

"Hey, you know about this now. That makes you an accomplice." Larry pointed out eagerly. "That makes you, the Wheel Man!" He made some driving motions and noises. "Huh?"

"We can't steal from our neighbors!" Kate protested.

"Kate, I know the TV was a little over the top." Larry said as he put some family pictures on top of it. "But you said it yourself, that's just what we need right _now_." He grinned. "So, let's just ride this impulse." He put his arm around her as he took a picture with them in front of the TV.

Knock knock knock

Kate opened the door to Victoria standing on their doorstep. "Oh Victoria!" She said nervously. "H-h-h-hi!"

"Kate, I know its late but we've just been robbed." Victoria said with distaste in her voice. "Someone took our television and seventeen cans of roasted nuts."

Kate looked back and saw Larry pour some peanuts into his paw before tossing them into his mouth.

Victoria sighed. "We're asking everyone. Do you have any idea who committed this heinous crime?"

Kate looked back to Larry. "No." She lied. "No I don't."

"Oh." Victoria said in a semi-disappointed tone. "Okay. Well do you have any idea who committed _this _heinous crime?" She held up a picture of Joan Rivers. Her hair was terrible.

"No." Kate said nervously.

"Just checking." Victoria smiled mischievously. "She's a friend."

Kate sighed in relief as she closed the door.

"I'm sorry Kate." Larry said as she came toward him. "I didn't want you to have to lie for me-"

He was cut short as his wife locked mouths with him and they fell to the floor making out.

"I'm Eduardo." Larry started. "The swarthy foreign handyman."

"Shut up." Kate said forcefully.

"Okay."

"All right kid, its your big day." Sarmoti said the next afternoon at Harry's match.

"Hey Sarmoti!" The antelope bully's dad called over. "My kid's gonna wear on your furless freak's face!"

"Forget him Harry." Sarmoti said in encouragement. "You have a lion's heart and your gonna bring a world of hurt on that kid." He patted the human's back. "Good luck." He went to the bleachers where two of his friends where, Bernie and the panther.

"Let's go Harry!" Someone called from the stands to encourage the human boy with war paint on his face in the same marks from the last night.

"The kid looks good." Bernie said as Sarmoti sat down.

"What are you lookin' at Stripey?" The drunk antelope demanded.

"Uh, nothin'. Just take it easy." The male zebra said calmly.

The antelope ass hole threw the bottle down causing it to break and threatened the equine with his hoof. "Take it easy? "You won't be sayin' "take it easy" after I feed ya a hoof sandwich!" He pulled back his arm to attack the zebra until Sarmoti grabbed hold of him.

"Eh sit down and shut up you hay sucking booze bag!" Sarmoti threatened the ass with his balled up paw as he sat him down away from the zebra. He pushed him to the side making the antelope gack. He nodded in support to Harry who had watched the scrap from the ring.

"Hey girl. Try not to cry on your boobs." The bully sneered at Harry as the referee, a monkey in a tie came up to them.

"All right gentlemen I'm your referee, Colonel Yum Yum." The English accented male introduced himself. "I want a clean match, may the grappling be spirited yet sportsman like." Harry made a fist and the antelope bumped it with his hoof. The whistle blew and the match began. The antelope and human began circling each other.

"Mumbasa. Mumbasa." Harry kept chanting quietly.

"What's that furless freak?" The antelope antagonized the human child. "Some wussy lion patty cake song?"

"MUMBASA!" Harry shouted and Sarmoti could have sworn he heard a roar coming from the kid as if he where a true lion as he tackled the bully. Hard. So hard that they rose into the air and summersault ed lightly. They landed with Harry on top of the antelope.

"What are ya doing?" The bully's dad shouted in dismay as his son was being toppled by a smaller, weaker human of all things!

The audience clapped as the ref put his hand down three times while the bully was dazed. He raised Harry's hand and blew the whistle. Signaling Harry as the winner.

"Attaboy Harry!" Sarmoti called as Bernie and the panther stood and Sarmoti shook hands with both of them. "The kid's a winner."

"I knew he could do it." The panther laughed.

Meanwhile in the background, Harry was beating the antelope more. With his fists. Anger for all the times he had been pushed and shoved around by this creep came forward. He punched him in the chest several times and then brought his right fist back all the way before bring it forward fast and giving him a black eye

"Uh, chief?" Bernie poked Sarmoti's shoulder, when the old lion looked up he pointed the brawl.

"Harry please, we're not savages." Yum Yum said before being shoved aside by the human child intending to get his revenge. The monkey shrieked and did monkey dances in protest.

After a final bang on the pavement with the bully's head Sarmoti pulled the human child off of the other kid. "Alright Harry, that's enough. Let's go home." Sarmoti guided the boy as they walked away. He looked at the monkey with distaste. "Yum Yum look at yourself. Get a grip." He said as they walked by the still dancing, shrieking monkey.

Yum Yum did. "Er, Right o. See you at the club."

**To Be Continued...**

**Come on guys, throw a fox a bone and**

**Review Review Review!**

**Dean the Cuddly Fo**x

To Be Continued...


	7. Chapter 7: Possession Part 3

Chapter 7: 3

Larry and Kate are watching TV with Snack the gopher. On the Tiger's television while eating popcorn and sharing a 7 Eleven Big Gulp.

"Wow." Snack said before taking a sip of his own drink.

"This TV is amazing." Kate said as she took a pawful of popcorn into her mouth.

"I know. Webster looks so big he's not funny anymore." Larry agreed.

Harry came up behind them breathing heavily.

"Hi sweetie, how was the wrestling match?" Kate asked their human son.

"Mumbasa." He simply said still breathing heavily.

"Great." Larry said, not paying attention.

"Oh. Larry, Kate, your never gonna guess who I saw in the parking lot at the Mirage." Snack managed before being snatched off the back of the couch by Harry who snuck up on him after seeing him there. Shouting as he was snatched but Kate and Larry where transfixed on the enormous television.

"Even the commercials are awesome. Before I could never read the fine print." The lion said as he read some on the screen. "What's Anal Leakage?" There was suddenly a loud knock on the front door.

"Open up! We're here about the stolen TV!" Came the voice of one of the Snout Brothers. Two Warthog brothers who abused steroids.

"Ugh, that sounds like the Snout Brothers." Larry said as he walked over and opened the door only to be jerked onto the porch by one of the two warthogs.

"Drop the gun." The brother on the left said.

"I don't have a gun." Larry said in confusion.

"Oh yeah? What happened to the gun?" Left said.

"I just found two of 'em right here!" Right held up his steroid muscled arms. They smacked hooves.

"Heh, what do you guys want?" Larry asked nervously.

"Someone stole Blake's TV." Right said.

"Why'd ya do it Hippie?" Left demanded.

"Did ya smoke it in yer Refer Pipe?" Right asked forcefully.

"Did ya burn it with your American Flag?" Left asked also forcefully.

"What?" Larry asked in confusion.

"Take off your shoes!" Left demanded pointing to Larry's feet.

"I don't wear shoes." Larry protested.

"That figures." Right scoffed.

"Why don't you just tip toe barefoot to your gay wedding?"

"Excuse me?" Larry asked in a scandalized tone.

"Listen up." Right ordered. "There's a Neighborhood Watch meeting, and everybody's gotta be there."

"Especially you lion." Left sneered.

"Not a single animal in this compound is gonna rest until we find that TV." Right glared at Larry. They turned and left a dumbstruck Larry at the door. "Hey lion! Grateful Dead broke up! Get a hair cut!" Right scoffed as they walked away.

Later that night, Harry is excersizing in his room lifting himself up with the aid of a body lifter when Sarmoti walked up to his door. "Eh, Harry, could I have a word with you about today's wrestling match?" He asked nervously.

"Mumbasa!" Harry shouted eagerly as he walked up to his role model.

"Yeah, I'm right next to you. Listen, you understand that this Great Warrior tradition stuff...is mostly about baggin' broads right?" He asked the human child who gave him a look. "What I mean to say is its good to feel confident, but you can take that stuff too far."

"I get it Grandpa." Harry said, seemingly in understanding. "You where just helping me so I wouldn't be scared anymore."

"Exactly." Sarmoti sighed in relief. "I'm glad we understand each other." He patted Harry on the head. "Your a good kid." And with a smile at the human he left. When he did, Harry slammed the door to reveal Snack duct taped to the other side. He grinned evilly at the terrified rodent.

"My precious." Harry said. "Grandpa wants to take the precious." He said in an insane tone as he held onto the trembling gopher. "But Grandpa is our friend." He looked over to the wall as if he was talking to someone. "No. Kill Grandpa..."

At the neighborhood watch meeting...

Larry by the stroke of luck, was named the head of the Neighborhood Crime Watch. "What are you doing?" Kate asked her husband in disbelief.

"Just watch." Larry said before stepping up. "Let's get this dirtbag. You." He pointed to a female leopard. "Patrol the perimeter of the compound. Don't let anyone see you." Next he pointed to the Sout Brothers. "You two, your the Sit Tight Twins. I want you to go home and sit tight." The two brothers nodded at each other. Next he pointed to a zebra. "You, learn Navajo. And you Chutney." He pointed to the elephant male. "Go undercover as a homeless person."

"Ooo." Chutney cooed in interest.

"Now. My house is HQ. So its absolutely off limits to everyone for obvious security reasons. Now move out! Go!"

Everyone left to perform their respective tasks.

"How was I?" Larry asked his wife.

Kate moaned and tackled Larry and they started making out. "I am Ahmud the street performer at the County Fair."

"Uh, let's be clear. I don't want to ever do that." Kate said.

Sarmomti woke up to the sound of heavy breathing. He looked up and saw a shadow. "Harry? What the hell has gotten into you?"

Harry clicked on a flash light under his chin. He still had the war paint on. And one of Hunter's fake arrows on his head. "Someday, a real rain is gonna come down and wash the scum off these streets."

"Huh?" Sarmoti asked in confusion.

"Chi chi chi, par par par." Harry made Friday the 13th sounds.

Sarmoti groaned. "Eh for crying out loud." The elderly lion shook his head in dismay as Harry clicked off the flashlight.

**To be continued...**

**Can anyone guess where the "Real Rain" line came from? Hint, its a 70's movie with Robert De Niro**

**I ended it there cause it felt like the right place to end the chapter. Poor Sarmoti doesn't know what he's gotten himself into ^^**

**Review Review Review!**

**Dean the Cuddly Fox**


	8. Chapter 8: Possession Part 4

**Chapter 8: Possession Part 4**

"How great is this?" Larry asked when he and Kate got home. "They made ME head of the Neighborhood Crime Watch. And I'm the criminal!"

"This is such a rush." Kate said joyfully. "I can't remember the last time we had this much fun together. Let's steal something else!"

"No no no." Larry protested. "Let's not blow this. We've gotten away clean why risk getting caught now?"

"I don't know. Maybe because at 9 o'clock your gonna have to choose between Law & Order and American Chopper." Kate reminded him.

Larry gasped.

"Unless we can somehow get our hands on a device that let's us record one show. While we watch another." The lioness suggested.

An hour later. Kate and Larry where giggling as they wore Nixon and his vice president masks as they picked up Blake and Victoria's DVR. Larry stole back to take another can of roasted nuts.

**...**

"Mao Mao Ditti Mao." Harry said after Snack had spun on some kind of spinning dais. It stopped at one of the many mouse traps with cheese on them. Snack nervously picked the cheese up. The trap didn't go off. He timidly started nibbling on it.

"Mao Mao Ditti Mao." Harry repeated walking to the other side of the table.

"The kid's gone off the deep end." Sarmoti said to Chutney who was observing Harry's behavior. "I was just trying to help him not be so...you know...weak. But I don't know what got a little confused."

"Very common with young humans. Their heads are filled with violence from movies." Chutney explained. "You combine that with this African warrior who ha and you've got a time bomb waiting to explode."

"So what do we do? How do I fix him?" The elderly lion asked.

"Harry sees you as a role model. Don't try to deny it. We all see the way he admires you." Chutney said sternly to the old lion who looked rather pleased with himself. "He must see you behave as you would like him to. You must restraint in a situation you would normally handle with violence."

"Like when I get the bill for this crapola?"Sarmoti suggested as they turned from the window.

"You think this job is easy for me?" Chutney demanded picking Sarmoti up and slamming him into the wall with his trunk. "I should bust you into the freaking pavement!" Then, realizing what he just did he let Sarmoti down. "I am sorry. I will bill your insurance."

"What was Mr. Chutney talking about grandpa?" Harry asked as he and Sarmoti walked home.

"Nothing. Nothing." Sarmoti said as they walked side by side.

"Tooom. You promised you was getting a divorce." A female antelope said to the one horned antelope ass hole from the match. "I ain't getting any younger."

"Well well well." Tom said as they stopped in front of Sarmoti and Harry. ""You got a lot of nerve showing your face around here."

"Move it along grass breath." Sarmoti growled. "Unless you want me to make you uglier than you already are." He brought up his claws.

"Yeah grandpa!" Harry said eagerly. "Mumbasa! Mumbasa." He glared at the antelope male.

Sarmoti sighed. "Wait a minute son." He put his paws on Harry's shoulder. "Tom. Listen. I owe you and your skanky girlfriend an apology. I'm sorry I spoke harshly.

"Oh." Tom scoffed. "Someone's sorry!Whaddya want for that a hug?" He asked sarcastically.

"You know. maybe a hug's not such a bad idea." He moved toward the other male.

"Get away from me you wussy!" Tom demanded as he put an arm around his "girlfriend/hooker" "Come on baby. You can watch me eat lunch." Even though it was night time and his lunch consisted of beer and cigarettes.

"Grandpa." Harry looked up in confusion. "You can let him talk to you like that and still be a warrior?"

"Look kid.." Sarmoti kneeled down. "Sometimes a warrior shows more strength, by resisting the temptation to fight. Violence isn't always the answer."

"Its not?"

"No Harry." Sarmoti sighed. "Its not."

They held hands as they walked home.

"Did you set the Tivo?" Larry asked as they walked home with groceries.

"Yeah." Kate said. "What's this?" She asked as they saw a wrapped up gift and something on the ground in front of their house. It was one of Sigfried and Roy's holographic projector messages. She pressed it and up came an image of the two magicians.

Their theme song, written specifically for them by the great Michael Jackson, played before Roy started speaking from a card in his hand.

"Dear Human Race." Roy began. "As you now know, the Third World War has left the world a barren, radiated wasteland." Sigfried looked over the brown haired man's shoulder and shook his head.

"No no no." He said. "This one is for ze lions. For zeir gift."

"Oh. Yeah." Roy said as he threw the first card aside. "Dear Larry and Kate," He started. "We wanted to get you ze perfect gift. Something you would use everyday. Please be enjoying zis delightful Scandinavian Tea Service. The images pointed to the gift box. "Hopefully you will have us over for tea. Soon."

"Very soon." Sigfried added and he message faded out.

"There he is!" An orangutan said as a group of their neighbors ran up to them with torches and pitchforks.

"Hey guys. What's with the torches and pitchforks?" Larry asked.

"We're...going to a tiki party/harvest festival." The orangutan said as if the answer was obvious. "Anyway, before we go we wanted to see if you had any updates on the investigation."

"Nope. Nothing new. ANyway, remember this. Stay away from the chorus, and god bless America." He turned to go into their home.

"Wait a second." Chutney said suddenly in an angry tone. "pray tell, how come we never see you out investigating?"

"Uummm." Larry said nervously as Kate looked to him with the gift box in her arms. "Well, you know...cause...um..."

"Yeah." Vincent the gay, yet tough flamingo agreed. "And isn't it _convenient_ that the only place we haven't searched is Larry's house because its _off limits_?"

The zebra said something in Navajo.

"Wait a second! They must have the TV!" Chutney declared.

"Yeah!" Vincent agreed. "We've been bamboozled here!"

"Yeah!" All the animals agreed.

"God I'm so mad." The orangutan said holding up his torch and pitchfork. "If only there was some universal symbol for mob anger!" He looked around. "ROCKS!" Everyone put their stuff down and picked up a rock before rushing Kate and Larry into the protesting lions home. When they got inside...everyone gasped in shock.

"Oh my god." Kate said in shock.

"Its not here." Vincent said in shock. It was true. The TV was gone. With no explanation.

"I guess we owe you an apology." Chutney said from the door as he could not fit through.

The Zebra said "May your spirits be in peace and harmony with the sky." In Navajo.

"Hey everyone!" Said another orangutan. But older than the one in the group. "The Snout Brothers done found the stolen TV!"

Everyone rushed to the "Scene of the crime." And found the Snout Brothers escorting Tom the Antelope out of his home with his hands behind his back.

"I don't know how that hing got in my house!" Tom insisted as monkeys carried it out. "Why would I steal a TV they cut off my electricity three months ago!"

"How did this happen?" Kate asked Larry in wonder.

"I don't know."

The panther and Bernie huffed and puffed. next to a dolly (Not the toy, the thing used to move heavy objects), "Nice job boys." Sarmoti said in an approving tone as he walked up with Harry at his side.

"Mmm. Man that TV was heavier than Kirstie Alley." The Panther said. "Why'd I say that? She can't control herself. That jokes not right."

"I've been framed! Framed I tell ya!" Tom insisted. "Framed!"

"Grandpa? What does "framed" mean?" Harry asked in confusion.

"That my boy, is a warrior lesson for another time." Sarmoti said as he put a paw on Harry's back. They walked over to their home with Kate and Larry following them.

"That was too close." Kate said. "I can't handle any more excitement."

"Me neither." Larry agreed. "So...I guess our crime spree is over."

"Yeah." Kate agreed with her husband.

"You know...maybe you don't need excitement in a marriage. Maybe marriage is about appreciating those little, ordinary moments that you slog through everyday until you die."

"Which hopefully won't be for a very long time." Kate agreed as she held her husbands paw.

"But not too long though." Larry said as they entered their home.

Next door, The cross dressing monkeys where being conducted by Blake again. "Play! Play you damn, dirty apes!"

**End of "Possession" **

**To Be Continued...**

**I decided that those two male flamingo's from earlier where Vincent and his male mate. **

**Come on guys, I need more reviews! **

**Review Review Review!**

**Dean the Cuddly Fox**


	9. Chapter 9: One Man's Meat Part 1

**A/N: It is six months later and Harry is nine. Sigfried and Roy now know he is living with Larry and Kate's family and has begun his apprenticeship with the magical duo. But they want to keep the young dove user a secret from the public eye for now. **

**Chapter 9: One Man's Meat Is Another Man's Girlfriend Part 1**

"Okay Kitties." Roy said clapping his hands. "London Bridge. Let's go. Forward Feet."

"Ugh, Larry gross. Your paws are all sweaty." Kate said as they held each other's paws on two stands.

"Well what do you expect? Your showing me all eight nipples." Larry pointed out as he looked down her stomach.

Roy clapped eagerly. "Good meow meows. Sigfried come give ze kitties a hug."

"Not now, I am busy." The blonde german american man said as he sat on a bean bag seat reading a large, coffee table book.

"What? Your reading." Roy pointed out.

"No. I'm zinking of our next illusion."

"Gah." Roy said in disgust. "I hate it when you play ze magic card."

"Is ze card you are hate me for playing perhaps a 10 of clubs?" Sigfried asked as he flicked his wrist and a ten of clubs appeared in his hand.

"Amazing!" Roy said. "How do you always know?"

"Come. I will tell you over fondue."

"Mmm. Fondue. Break time kitties. Relax." Roy said as the magical duo left for inside a warehouse where they stored many of their circus equipment for their animal shows.

As if on cue Snack dropped down from a valve of some kind and landed on a swing for small animals. "Good news. I just dropped a bomb in a pot of hot cheese backstage."

"Nice." Larry chuckled. "What else is going on?" He asked as he moved for a row of boxes and sat down in front of them.

"Eh, went on another date with that girl last night." The gopher said lamely as if it wasn't anything important. "It was fine. You know me with the ladies."

"Come on, haven't you been seeing her like ten nights in a row?" Larry teased his friend. "And what's that smell?" He sniffed. "Is that soap?"

"I admit it Larry!" Snack said as he put his hands on his eyes in dismay. "I LOVE this girl! I took a bath! I even cleaned my business!" He motioned to his groin. "Larry, this girl is fantastic! She's sweet, she's funny, she's got the BIGGEST buck teeth you've ever seen!" He started swinging on the small swing. "I don't even know why I learned other numbers in math because I have found THE ONE!" He jumped off and flipped in the air to land on a see saw.

"Hey Kate! Snack's in love!" Larry said eagerly as his wife sat next to him.

"Oh how nice. Whose the lucky sock puppet?" Kate asked innocently as the lioness sat next to Larry.

"Not this time Kate." Snack said. "I've found my Soul Mate. Its not like that sham arrangement you have with Larry."

Sigfried and Roy's theme song, written by the great Michael Jackson, played as they came "on stage" again.

"Okay kitties. Through the hoop." Roy clapped as they walked over to a hoop on another circus stand with stars and stripes. "Larry you first."

Larry walked over on all fours toward the two stands with the hoop between them. He jumped but got stuck in the hoop with a fwump.

"Larry, why are you wearing of ze hoop?" Roy asked in confusion.

"He is not vearing it, he is fat. And since he is your lion that makes you fat too."

"I am going to travel forward in time and scowl at you." Roy snapped at Sigfried and he closed his eyes for a few moments. "I have arrived." He said as he scowled at his partner. "But you are right. Our lead lion cannot be a blubberpuss. Starting now Larry and I begin to diet. Between ze two of us we will lose at least fifteen thousand pounds."

Larry groaned. He was only five hundred pounds. Roy was just teasing him.

**...**.

Sarmoti twirled a poker chip in his paw pads. "Come on Chaz. While we still have fur." He said to the black panther who was looking over his hand. Harry looked down at the game from the tree limb. He was reading his newest Grisham novel. He noticed throughout the game that night that the four other felines had certain "tells" when they had good hands. Chaz the panther flicked his tongue out. Duke the leopeard's fur frizzed up. Bernie the white lion twirled his whiskers. He had always been able to tell when someone was lying. It was a special talent of his. When he was on the streets he would sometimes ask someone to lie to him about their profession. It was all about the details. For instance, one time a surgeon told him he was a construction worker. For one thing he wasn't tanned as if he worked outside. And another give away was that his index fingers had lines on the tips from stretching sutchers for stitches.

Poker is all about bluffing. If you can't bluff, you won't win. And when your confronted with a lie expert...well...

"As Frank said to that foxy dealer at The Dunes. I'm all in." Chaz said as the panther pushed all his poker chips into the pot.

"How about you Duke you in?" Sarmoti asked the homosexual leopard.

"I'd rather be towel snapped by a bunch of rowdy high school boys than stay in this pot." The leopard snapped. He didn't put anything in.

"Bernie?" Sarmoti turned to the suck up.

"Oh what difference does it make cause your gonna win anyway right chief?" Bernie said eagerly. "This guys the best. He could sell mittens to a snake. Pogo sticks to a kangaroo. Extension cords to a-"

"Shut it." Sarmoti snapped.

"Absolutely." Bernie said, raising his arms. "It would be an honor to shut it for you sir. I'm in." He pushed his poker chips into the pot.

Sierra, watching a movie, looked back and saw their grandfather studying his friends faces.

"I call." Sarmoti said. Pushing his chips into the pot.

"Pair of sevens." Chaz sighed.

"King high." Bernie revealed.

"Two pair." Sarmoti chuckled. "Sorry boys, I win again." He said as he gathered up the chips.

"I'm busted man." Chaz said.

"That's it. I'm done." Bernie quit as well.

"I'm out." The gay leopard said. "Hey! Anyone wanna go to the Watering Hole? Its ladies night. We can drink cosmos and dish till we drop."

"Cosmos?" Chaz asked. "Man, that Duke really knows the ladies." The panther turned to Bernie sarcastically. "I can't believe ladies on his arms every night."

"Suiper gay!" Both Harry and Sierra coughed as the three felines left.

"Oh I forgot my ascot." Duke said as he took the blue neck accessory from the coat rack. "You know, its cashmere." He said in a sing song voice.

"Wow grandpa." Sierra said as she and Harry moved over to the poker table where Sarmoti was gathering up his winnings. He slapped Harry's hand away lightly as he reached for a chip. "It ain't luck. I figured out their tells."

"Their what?" Sierra asked in confusion.

"Their tells." The young human said making both lions look at him curiously. "Its how they give away their hands. When Bernie bluff's twirls a whisker. Chaz sticks his tongue out. And Duke gets his fur all frizzled up. Right grandpa?" Harry asked.

:"Right." Sarmoti said in slight shock. It took him years to figure out their tells. "How did you figure it out so fast? It took me years."

"Lie to me and see what happens." Harry said mysteriously as he went back to his novel.

"So basically your cheating." Sierra accused the old lion. A little weirded out by the boy's comment. She had noticed that he could always tell when anyone in the family was lying about anything. Even a small thing.

"There's no rule against memorizing tells actually." Harry told the lioness teen.

"The kids right. There are no friends in poker. Its kill or be killed." Sarmoti agreed with the young human as he nudged Sierra in the ribs teasingly.

"I can't believe I'm related to you." Sierra said as she laid back on the couch.

"Believe it." Sarmoti insisted. "That's where you get your brains, your courage, and your small but elegant feet."

"Goodnight Carol." Kate's voice came from the porch as she bid one of her friends goodnight. Sarmoti quickly hid the poker chips in his zebra rug's backside.

"What the?" Kate asked as she came in and saw several beer bottles on the coffee table. "Dad. Where you playing poker in here with your friends?" She asked as she held up a bottle.

"No." Sarmoti said in a scandalized tone. "I'm a drunk sweetheart. You know that." He said as he picked up a bottle and waved it with a grin.

"Whatever." Kate scoffed. "Just, no gambling in front of the kids please?" She asked.

"Don't you worry Kate." Sarmoti assured the lioness. "There's no gambling on my watch." He said as he scratched his chin.

:"Uh huh.": Kate said sarcastically as she left to throw the bottles out.

"Unbelievable grandpa!" Sierra said. "Now you just lied to my mom!"

"Shouldn't you be out uh...getting something pierced?" Sarmoti asked as Harry snorted in amusement. The human closed his book.

"Well, I'm off to bed. Sigfried and Roy want me up bright and early for more practicing with the doves. And designing my stage costume." The boy said with a yawn as he left the living room. "Night."

**To Be Continued...**

**Can you figure out Sarmoti's "tell?"**

**The "Lie to me." bit was in reference to the show "Lie To Me." **

**Review Review Review!**

**Dean the Cuddly Fox **


	10. Chapter 10: One Man's Meat Part 2

**Chapter 10: One Man's Meat Is Another Man's Girlfriend Part 2**

The next morning finds Larry up at 8 AM. He usually slept in with Kate on a Saturday but due to the new "Training Regimen" with Roy well. As a part of his training Harry had to be fit as well so he was running too.

Larry huffed as he ran with Roy along the street of the compound. "That's it. That's it Larry." Roy encouraged the overweight white. "Get your rabbit. Get your dinner." You see, Larry was running with a very big stick attatched to his hips that went out a foot ahead of him. Attached to the stick on the other side, was a bunny rabbit. But this was no ordinary bunny rabbit. He was the trainer from hell.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN EAT ME? STEP ON IT MAGGOT!" The rabbit yelled in Larry's face. "GET YOUR REAR IN GEAR! MOVE IT FAT BODY! OR I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND DROP PELLETS DOWN YOUR NECK!" The trainer was annoying Larry like no other being had ever done before. "HUSTLE UP! PICK 'EM UP AND SHOVE 'EM DOWN! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! YOUR A-"

"Okay." Roy said as the limo riding ahead of them stopped and popped open its trunk revealing bottles of water. "Water break."

"Oh thank god." Larry said as he breathed heavily.

"YOU LAZY ASS PANSY! YOUR THE REASON WE LOST IN VIETNAM-" The bunny from hell was interrupted by Roy who shoved a water bottle in his mouth to shut him up as if he could hear him. "Ya. That's a good rabbit." He cooed. "You want your water?"

"I thought bunnies where supposed to be all cuddly." Harry muttered as he gave Larry a drink of water from a separate water bottle.

"I usually just eat them."

"Didn't we have a babysitter who mysteriously vanished when she demanded a higher rate of pay?" Harry asked curiously remembering the bitchy bunny nanny who used to babysit him and hunter when the others went to a school meeting of some kind for Sierra.

"Well...she was a bitch." Larry said in his defense. "And she had no family or friends so its not like anyone misses her." He reminded the human.

Snack twisted the top of gnome off from the inside on the curb. "Larry." He said as he popped up. "Thank god. I got an emergency! I'm making a mix tape for my girl. Should Sexual Healing come before or after Sad Eyes?

"Always...finish...with Marvin." Harry gasped out as Snack turned to him when he started talking for Larry

"Exactly." Larry managed to gasp out in agreement.

"Of course." Snack said in realization as he looked like he just realized something. "How about we get together with you and Kate for a drink tonight? I really want you two to meet her."

"Ready for round 2!" Roy called back. Larry grimaced.

"Feel the burn Lar. See ya tonight." Snack said as he went back inside the gnome

"And now, two dozen wind sprints." Roy said eagerly to the boy and lion who both groaned in their own way.

"But so tired..." Larry complained as Harry started. "So hungry..."

"You got a problem sweet cheeks?" The rabbit demanded as he hung in front of Larry again. "CAUSE I WILL STICK MY LUCKY FOOT UP YOUR BACK SIDE! CHEW OFF YOUR MAN EGGS AND SEND THEM TO YOU NEXT YEAR IN AN EASTER BASKET!"

"To be clear." Larry started as he started sprinting. "Your not actually in the military right?"

"I DON'T CARE IF YOU HATE ME!" The rabbit snapped. "I HAVE 110 BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO LOVE MY FLUFFY ASS!"

Later, Larry was hating the diet with a passion as he chomped on a carrot with distaste. "This diet _sucks_! I'm a giant carnivore! Not Lora Flynn Boyle." He complained to Kate who was reading a romance novel. "In fact I could go for a Lora Flynn Boyle right about now."

"Mom." Sierra said as she came in while flossing her fangs. "Dad, can Justin come over tonight?"

"Oh, is he that boy without a weiner? If so then yes. Absolutely." Larry teased his daughter.

Harry and Hunter where playing a card game on the tv. Harry flipped a card face up. "I'll see your trap and raise you with one of my own." He said as one of Hunter's 4 monster was destroyed by Sakeretsu Armor destroying it and Saving Harry's last monster.

"I guess I end my turn." Hunter said pressing a button and Harry's player glowed signaling it was his turn.

"I draw." Harry drew from his own deck of cards. And now I'll use my Hunter of Black Feather's Special Ability. When you have two or more monsters of the same type I can take one of them and...destroy it! Go! Sun Ball Burst!" The winged creature on the screen formed a small sun in its hand and threw it at one of Hunter's machines. The more powerful one. "Now I Summon my level four Gagaga Magician in attack mode. And now I'm going to Overlay Gagaga Magician with my Hunter of Black Feathers! And Exceed Summon Number 39! Utopia! From my Extra Deck in attack mode!" He put the the black colored card on the scanner with slots for five monsters and spell/trap cards on the bottom that was hooked with Hunter's on and connected with the screen. "Now I'll destroy your Cyber Dragon!" Utopia flew at Cyber dragon on the tv screen and slashed it to pieces. "My turn ends."

"Sierra." Kate said. "You know your not allowed to have boys over while your father and I are out of the house." She walked off to talk to the teenage lioness.

"What is it about meat that makes it so delicious?" Sarmoti teased Larry as he carried with him a plate of raw steaks and a bottle of Steak Sauce. "Mmm." He dangled one in front of Larry. "And with MY metabolism I can eat and eat and never gain an ounce! Do you think there's a god Larry?" The old lion asked.

"Grandpa." Harry warned from the TV as his newest card Number 17: Leviathan Dragon monster destroyed Hunter's last defense with its Sonic Shredding Stream attack. The two Exceed Monsters floating in front of Harry's character on the screen.

"Sarmoti rolled his eyes. He knew the kid didn't like how he teased Larry so much. "He slurped the steak into his mouth and chewed it up as he walked away.

Larry's stomach growled in protest. He looked around and saw all different kinds of food. From cheeseburger, to pizza, to...a herbivore neighbor. He grabbed the bottle of steak sauce and started toward the window.

"What are you doing?" Kate asked suspiciously.

"Nothing." Larry said quickly.

"Larry, I want you to stay away from the edible neighbors." Kate told the dieting lion. "Hi Carol." She waved to the antelope outside. "Seriously." She continued. "Carol is head of the PTA and a good friend. If you ate her, I'd be humilated."

"I'd never eat her!" Larry protested.

"Oh yeah? That's what you said about the nanny."

"Hey, she was treating the kids bad and she was a bitch." Larry defended himself. "And I'm pretty sure she was stealing from us."

"Just be careful okay?" Kate asked. "Your a lion on a diet. I'll see you later." She said as she left for her book club.

"I win!" Harry said eagerly as Hunter's Life Points dropped to zero.

"Anything for one Numbers monster!" Hunter pleaded.

"Never!" Harry ran to his room with his cards to hide them in his lock box. Everyone who played the game at school wanted them.

**To be continued...**

**Hope you guys enjoyed the mention of the new XYZ monsters from the Yugioh Trading Card Game. I wish they had made something like what I mention here. Its a kind of scanner system that scans the cards and plays them on the TV using the database of cards in the system. if you don't have it, you can't play it. **

**Review Review Review!**

**Deant the Cuddly Fox**


	11. Chapter 11: One Man's Meat Part 3

**Chapter 11: One Man's Meat Part 3**

Later that night at The Watering Hole, Larry was in a pickle. Snack had just left to get Candy, his "girlfriend" another drink. He even had his own little devil lion on one side of his head.

"Go ahead." His evil side said. "Eat her. You know there's nothing better than sweet, tender gopher meat." He shuddered in pleasure. "DO IT!"

"Larry." An angelic gopher female reprimanded. "Snack is your friend. And that girl is just an innocent-" But she was cut off as the devil lion swooped over and gobbled her up feet first.

"Oh BLEEP yeah. Oh, that is good gopher." The lion vanished.

"Mmm, refreshing." Candy said as she squeezed a lime over herself.

Larry groaned thinking about ways out of this situation.

Meanwhile at home, Sarmoti was in another poker game. Harry was watching from the tree limb. "So what's it gonna be Duke?"

Duke gave him one card. "Uno." He narrowed his eyes. POOF! His fur around his head went all poofy all of a sudden as he got his card. "What the hell I'm in for twenty."

Harry peeked at his hand. He had a Straight Flush.

"Bernie's out." Bernie folded.

"Me too." Sarmoti agreed.

"Ditto baby." Chaz the panther

"Shoot." Duke pouted. "When I get a good hand you guys always fold." There was a sudden knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Sierra came running to the door. "Hi Justin." She greeted her boyfriend.

"Hi." Justin laughed. "I caught this for you." He held up a dead bird.

Sierra squealed with delight. "I'll rip it to pieces later." She said as he came in.

"Hold it slick." Sarmoti stopped them. "Sierra, you are not allowed to have boys over. Now get rid of him or I'll rat ya out."

"Great." Harry piped up. His cunning side coming in. "Then I'll tell mom that you've been gambling in the house."

Sarmoti scowled at the boy who grinned at the old lion. Sarmoti knew their system. The kid covered for Sierra and she covered for him. They'd been looking out for each other since she took a liking to him when he first came to live with his daughter and Larry. "Okay Romeo. But keep your paws offa her. I make one phone call." He threatened him with a paw digit. "Your a rug at some rappers house." He turned back to his friends. "Jacks or Better to open."

"Deal." Chaz said as he and the others nodded in agreement.

"So, what do you wanna do?" Sierra asked the teenage male.

"Well, I wouldn't mind playing some poker." Justing looked to the game. "I still have some of my Bar Mitzvah money." He held up some bills including a 5 and three tens.

The adults beckoned him over in welcome.

"Justin, I don't wanna play cards." Sierra stopped him from going over.

"Okay." Justin agreed. "I guess I don't have too."

The older felines all hissed and booed at the opinion. Making whip noises and making whip motions with their tails.

Justin gave in. He rushed over. "All right you guys deal me in. So what do you guys play huh? Chase the Ace? Follow the Queen?"

"Huh?" Duke asked in confusion.

"Hope you guys brought your Social Security checks!" Justin said eagerly "Ha!" He said as he held up the deck of cards then started shuffling with the skill of a vegas dealer. .

While Snack was away, Candy finished her Margarita. She was licking the salt from around the rim on the inside. She sighed as she put the glass down. "So." She said as she looked up at Larry.

"Hehe...so..." Larry said nervously before sipping more of his drink.

"I'm leaving Snack." Candy said casually shocking Larry.

"WHAT?" Larry asked in shock. "But...Snack loves you!"

"Yeah. That's the problem." Candy admitted.

"You can't do this!" Larry insisted. "Snack thinks your the ONE!"

"Yeah, but I could never love a guy like him." Candy said disdainfully. "Do me a favor sweetie? Tell him goodbye for me." She said before hopping down from the table and leaving the bar.

"Told ya." The devil lion said as he poofed next to Larry's head again. "You should have eaten her. She's a bitch."

At home, Sarmoti had cleaned Justin out of all that he had won that night. "I'm done." Justin said in terror. "I've lost EVERYTHING!" He opened the door and left. "I'm gonna get drunk! This is the beginning of a downward spiral for me!" He sobbed as he walked down the walkway leading to Kate and Larry's home.

"Justin!" Sierra called after him. He ignored her. She growled in anger. "Grandpa, he didn't know what he was getting into." She insisted.

"Sierra, when are you gonna learn? Being cutthroat is in your blood." Sarmoti told the teenage lioness.

"I'll NEVER be like you." Sierra hissed at her grandfather as she rushed back to her room and slammed the door shut.

Harry gathered up his Duel Monsters cards from the floor next to Sarmoti that he was shuffling and re shuffling to see what kind of opening hands he would get and what opening moves he could make with his deck. He put his deck in his lock box and shook his head at his grandfather figure in disappointment Sarmoti frowned slightly as the kid left the living room Hearing him close his door slowly and the light clicked off.

"Man Britney Spears keeps getting HOTTER!" Duke said as he looked at her in a magazine. "I'd like to do some things to her!" He said suggestively to Chaz and soon after saying that his head fur poofed all around him.

**To Be Continued...**

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**Dean the Cuddly Fox**.


	12. Chapter 12: One Man's Meat Part 4

**Chapter 12: One Man's Meat Part 4**

Larry was in a pickle yet again. This time, how to tell Snack that Candy left him. He drummed his paw pads on the table

Snack suddenly hopped onto the table. "Hey baby. The barman told me this was the finest bottle in the house. "Thanks again Eric!" The gopher called over to an orangutan who suddenly shouted

"Don't look at me!"

"Where's Candy?" Snack asked the five hundred pound lion as he looked up at him after looking around.

"I-I'm sorry pal." Larry said sincerely. "She's gone."

"Gone? Whaddya mean gone?" Snack asked in confusion.

Larry looked away with an uncomfortable look.

"Oh my god." Snack said in a crushed tone. "She left me. Why would she do that?" He asked as his voice broke up slightly. "I thought she really dug me."

"She did." Larry lied.

"No Larry, I was kidding myself." Snack said in distress. "No woman's ever gonna love me. I'm unlovable." He said with his voice cracking up. He broke down and started crying. "Don't look at me." He glared over at the bartender who replied with the same "DON'T LOOK AT ME!"

"Snack. She didn't leave you." Larry said suddenly seeing a way to save his best friend's heart from being broken into tiny pieces.

"Then where is she?"

"I..." Larry stuttered trying to say something. He looked down at the heart with "Snack and Candy 4Ever carved into it with an arrow piercing it. He groaned. "I ate her."

"What?" Snack asked in shock.

"Yeah. It was the diet. "I uh, I couldn't help myself." He chuckled.

"You BARBARIAN!" Snack snapped. "I thought you where my friend!" He said in a different kind of voice. A betrayed one.

"I am your friend." Larry snapped back.

"NO YOUR NOT!" Snack snapped again. "I am friendless! I have NO ONE!" He knocked over the wine bottle and hurled over the wing basket filled with bones. He then hopped to the ground and shouted "WHY?" As it seemed like rain was pouring down on him. But it was just the bartender rinsing out a very wet towel. Snack atarted sobbing as he walked away.

The next day, Kate and Larry where taking a walk in the park. "I just couldn't tell Snack the truth!" He defended himself. "I mean, she said she could never love a guy like him."

"I HATE her!" Kate said in anger. "Then again he is repulsive."

"Kate this was the first time I actually saw Snack IN LOVE." Larry said after taking a bite out of a celery stalk. "And I'm afraid if I tell him the truth he'll shut down completely. And never be able to love again." Then he thought about what he just said. "Oh my god that rabbit really did take my man eggs."

"Larry!" Roy called with a jump rope in his hands.

"Down." Larry said and he and Kate hid behind some plants.

"Where are you? Time to burn calories with ze skipping of ze rope!" He didn't find Larry. "Oh well. Cinderella dressed in Yella went downtown to meet a fella on ze way her girdle busted. How many people where disgusted?" He started counting in German as he continued to skip rope.

"Welcome back boys." Sarmoti grinned. "I'm feeling lucky today." He said as he pulled the Ace of Clubs from the deck.

"Grandpa." Sierra said as she slammed the door open. "You have to give Justin his money back."

"I'd love to give your boyfriend his money back, but I spent it." Sarmoti said as he scratched his chin.

Harry scoffed from the couch and closed his book. He narrowed his eyes when he saw Sarmoti scratching his chin. "Let me try to win it back then." Harry said.

The older felines looked to the young human. Gamblers where getting younger everyday. "Alright kid, you wanna play with the big boys? Deal him in." He said to Duke who nodded

Larry crashed Snack's memorial to Candy.

"This diet is making you insane." Kate declared.

"We'll just stand over here." Larry said motioning her to a spot in the back.

"Goodbye baby." Snack said as a monkey dumped a dozen roses in a grave Snack dug for Candy. "I'll miss you forever."

Larry's stomach growled. And he was humiliated by Snack by him declaring that he was a murderer. "Perhaps I should talk to a lawyer." Larry said nervously. The two orangutans reading during the service gave him business cards.

"So kid." Chaz teased the eight year old human. "Seen Sierra's boyfriend cry lately? Do you think she finds him more or less attractive?"

The older felines all laughed as Harry glared around the table. He noticed the tall, dark and handsome panther sticking his tongue out. And Bernie twirling a whisker.

"Sierra likes a man that cries. And you know what? So do I." Harry said with a smirk that made Chaz blush red with his black fur. While on the streets Harry had to often resort to prostituting himself sometimes to make enough money to survive. His age was handy because who among the police would suspect a young boy to be a hooker? "Which is why I'm gonna love you when you see my cards. I call. Full House. Ace High." Harry revealed his hand which was three Aces and two Kings.

"Aww, Shirley Handfull!" The panther said in place of swearing. "How did he know I was bluffing?" He threw down his cards. "Well, he cleaned me out too." Chaz said as he stood up with Duke and Bernie.

"Chaz, for the record I'm telling my wife I loaned you money for rehab." Bernie told his panther friend. .

"Its just you and me kid." Sarmoti raised an eyebrow at Harry as he fanned out two halves of the deck after Harry pulled in his winnings. Double what Justin lost. "You know you can walk away now and call yourself a winner."

"Deal the cards Bernie." Harry ordered to the white lion wearing sunglasses. Bernie dealed them both five cards after shuffling with the skill of a vegas dealer. They where playing Duces Wild. Meaning Twos could be anything and Five of a Kinds where possible.

"Three cards." Sarmoti said handing tossing three from his hand.

"Three cards." Harry also said tossing He recieved two Aces to add to his one Ace of Clubs and a two. Four of a kind! Harry tried to not let his hand be known to Sarmoti So he studied the old lion carefully.

"You should probably fold. I've got a top notch hand here." Sarmoti said to the young human as he scratched his chin.

Then Harry realized Sarmoti's tell. He scratched his chin when he fibbed to Kate about gambling. When he told a date that he'd call her later and to his knowledge never did, and when he told Sierra he spent Justin's money.

"_Don't worry Kate, there's no gambling on my watch." Sarmoti said as he scratched his chin._

"_I'd love to give your boyfriend his money back, but I spent it." Sarmoti told Sierra as he scratched his chin. _

"_All right then baby doll." Sarmoti said to a leopardess that he frequently dated. "I'll call you later." He said as Harry passed by and saw him scratching his chin. _

"Well?" Sarmoti asked.

"I'm all in." Harry smirked as he pushed his chips into the pot.

"Aww nuts, all I got's a...Royal Flush." He said revealing the last Ace and King, Queen, Jack and Ten of Hearts.

Harry was so stunned he dropped his hand. "What? But...but you-"

"Scratched my chin?" Sarmoti smirked at the naive boy. "You just got played by the master." Sarmoti smiled as he pulled his winnings into his bag. "Thanks for the cabbage grasshopper." He simirked as he waved the bag of winnings.

"See ya fellas Sarmoti laughed as he started to get up but heard sniffling. Harry was going to start crying. "Hohoho." He laughed as he put the bag down but saw Harry's head on his arms. "What's wrong?" He asked. He hated seeing the kid cry. It wasn't pretty.

"I," He sniffled. "Promised Sierra I'd win Justin's money back cause its his mom's birthday." He continued to drip tears from his puppy dog eyes. "And now he can't even buy her a card or anything else! I hate this stupid game!" Sierra had been watching and had been wondering what was going on. He said he had a plan to trick their grandfather.

"I'm sorry kid. Here. Here's your money." Sarmoti pushed the box toward the human boy.

"I don't want it." Harry said as he continued sobbing and pushed it back.

"And what's his name's money is in their too. Tell him to get his mom a crock pot or whatever broads use in the kitchen."

"Thank you grandpa." Harry said after hugging the old lion. He took the winnings from the table.

"Hey." Sarmoti chuckled in realization. "I just got played didn't I?"

Harrysuddenly stopped fake crying. And Sarmoti saw a smirk on his face. "Lie to me." He said simply and walked to his room with his winnings.

"Hehehe. I knew he had it in him." The elderly lion said with a smile. "He's gonna be the one who puts me in a home." He said with pride in his voice. The kid needed to toughen up. And this was one life lesson that had taken root.

"Hey buddy." Larry said that night at The Watering Hole. Snack was using a lion voodoo doll. It was chubby like Larry. He stuck a knife in it and then a pair of scissors. "Still mad at me?" He asked.

"Oh look. Its the lady killer." Snack snapped. "And I don't mean the good kind like Benny D. Williams or David Copperfield."

"Look Snack, maybe she's not the girl you thought she was." Larry started.

"You mean now that you turned her into poo?" Snack asked in an angry tone as he turned back to the voodoo doll.

"Snack." Larry started but he was stopped by the gopher.

"You took away," The gopher said as he put the voodoo doll in a blender filled with some kind of alcohol. He then pushed the button and it vwhirred and shredded the doll. "The only woman who ever loved me. What could you say that can make one ounce of difference?"

Larry tried to say something. "Nothing." He sighed. He started to leave and Candy made an appearance.

"Candy?" Snack asked after shaking his head in shock. "Oh my god! Larry didn't eat you?"

"You thought I died?" Candy asked. "That is so sweet! One moment sweetie." Candy said before Snack could embrace her. "Excuse me, did anyone turn in a belly button ring? If I don't put it back in soon the hole will close." She asked the bar tender before turning to Snack to explain about the ring.

"No. I dumped you." She explained to the confused gopher.

"Larry knew." Snack realized.

"I told him to tell you. I have a new boyfriend now. He's a lemming. He and his friends are taking me hiking at Half Dome."

"Candy slow down, don't lemmings go to Half Dome to jump to their..." Snack trailed off. "Have fun!" He perked up and waved her off.

"Sorry buddy." Larry said sincerely.

"I don't know what to say Lar." Snack said after Larry sat down next to him on a stool. "Your a real friend. I'd kiss you if you didn't have that funky diet breath.

"You would have done the same thing for me." Larry waved it off.

"Doubtful Lar. Snack said as he shrugged. You know what? You need a break from your diet. Dinner's on me."

"Now we're talking. I'll go find a waiter." Larry said as he got up. He was stopped as a bunny slid down on a vine.

"THERE YOU ARE! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET WIDE LOAD!" The drill seargant screamed. "RUN!" The rabbit said as Larry started trying to get away from him. "BEFORE I GRAB A CARROT AND USE IT AS A THERMOMETER! YOU DON'T ASK AND I WON'T TELL! MOVE IT!"

**End of One Man's Meat Is Another Man's Girlfriend**

**To Be Continued...**

**So a little of Harry's past year before he met Kate and Larry's family is revealed. Yes he's gay. No he won't have sex before he's sixteen again. But yes, he will have a relationship with Chaz. Maybe with Sarmoti too. **

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**Dean the Cuddly Fox**


	13. Chapter 13: Sarmoti Moves In Part 1

**A/N: I know I should have probably done this chapter first but Catnip and Trust is my favorite episode. And I liked the others more too. Anyway, Sarmoti already knows about the situation with Harry because he was visiting for dinner when he was brought into the lion's home. At first he wasn't too wild about the idea but Harry grew on him. This is three months from when Harry was taken in. **

**Chapter 13: Sarmoti Moves In Part 1**

"Come on! Take his legs out!" Larry cheered in a spotrs cap holding a flag that said "LIONS!"

"GIVE HIM A THIZEMAN! I WANNA SEE BONE!" Snack shouted louder and he blew an airhorn after which echoed through the house.

"YES! IN YOUR FACE HERBIVORE!" Larry cheered as he leaped up . ("Larry wait!") Forgetting that Snack was on his shoulder. The gopher fell into a bowl of ranch dip as the lion killed a gazelle on screen.

Snack popped up all white and covered in dip. Larry looked down at him hopefully.

"Just get it over with." Snack said in distaste. Larry popped him into his mouth and sucked all the creamy dip off. "Our relationship has officially crossed over into a weird place." He said after Larry popped him back out and held him by his legs.

"Kitties!" Roy called after blowing a horn of some kind.

"Eh, its Sigfried and Roy." Larry said sadly. "Their moving in Kate's old man today." He explained to his gopher friend.

"Oh, right." Snack said having forgotten about that.

Larry groaned. "Not only does he hate me he refuses to towel off after he showers."

"Low hangers?" Snack asked motioning to hi s groin.

"Like you wouldn't believe." Larry nodded.

He moved onto his all fours position as Kate came into the living room. "Eh, the good times start in five, four, three,two-"

"Hello show creatures!" Sigfried said eagerly before blowing the horn again which was on a hat on an assistant's head.

"Today we move the great Sarmoti in with his love-ed ones." Roy said eagerly. "Hit it!"

Their theme song played as they brought in a box that opened on both sides. They opened both doors and showed that it was empty eagerly. Then they closed them, turned them around two times and opened the door facing Kate and Larry. "Sarmoti." They both said mystically. The old lion left the box.

"For crying out loud." He muttered as he joined his daughter and son in law.

"Ze old star joins the new star. Look at ze happiness we bring." Roy said eagerly.

All three had stoic expressions showing clearly that they weren't pleased. Kate loved her father, but his constant at odds with Larry irritated her.

"Come on Roy. Ve must get to Brunch before Phyllis Diller touches all ze bagles.

"Oh yes." Roy said as he was reminded about Brunch. "We are off. Goodbye my lions. Or should I say Reowwww." He growled as he left their home on all fours backwards while closing the door.

"We don't do that. Do we?" Larry asked after witnessing the scene.

"Dad welcome." Kate said eagerly giving her father a hug. "We're so happy to have you. Aren't we happy Larry?" She asked suggestively.

"Oh, yeah." Larry said. "If I wasn't white I'd be dancing." He chuckled. "See cause white guys can't dance. Its a movie." He said to Sarmoti's weird look.

"Shut it." Sarmoti snapped. "I don't wanna be here. You don't want me here. I hate you. Let's make the best of this."

"Look." Kate whispered to her husband after watching her father walk away. "Its not easy getting old and losing your home. Cut him some slack." She begged.

"Now. Where do I put my zebra?" Sarmoti wondered out loud.

"How about the backyard?" Larry suggested.

"The backyard?" Sarmoti scoffed. A pampered kid like you could never understand what this rug means to me. This was my FIRST KILL. Its my last connection to Africa." He picked up the zebra's head. "Whaddya think of our new place? Hmm?" He cooed to the stuffed zebra. "Ohoho that's right. You can't talk. Cause I killed you and sawdust now occupies where your brain was." He walked over to the middle of the room. "You fabulous stripped bastard." He kissed the rug's head as one would a pet.

"This isn't creepy at all." Larry said sarcastically to Kate who looked on in worry for her father's sanity.

A few days later Sarmoti was right at home. A little too much. He had started butting in with raising Kate and Larry's children. Even Harry. Sierra, their fifteen year old daughter and young seven year old human was walking out the door.

"We're going out with some wholesome activities with my friends." Sierra said as she and the young human where leaving. "There will be no smokning, no drinking, no swearing and no drugs. Your hard on me but I'll always love you for it."

"Hold it Sierra. Your not going out without eating something.." Kate stopped the teenager. She hadn't joined the family for dinner a short while ago.

"Mom, you know I'm dieting." Sierra protested. "'I'm a secure, confident woman, but drummers don't like beefy chicks."

"You do not need to diet." Kate sighed.

"Sweetheart, if I may?." Sarmoti said to Kate. "Sierra, in all honesty, it wouldn't hurt to skip a few meals."

"Dad!" Kate protested.

"Kate, she's beautiful now, but let's face it she has a genetic predisposition to take up space." He patted Larry's stomach in example.

Harry thought Sarmoti was overstepping his bounds a bit. Sure he was the elder in the family, but that didn't give him the right to tell someone to skip a few meals. Harry knew what being forced to go without food by force was like. He didn't want to think Sarmoti was like the Dursley's.

Larry chuckled. "I'll remember that when your begging for your heart medication." .

"Whatever. I'm outta here." Sierra scoffed as she and Harry left.

"Have a good time. Remember what I said about being fat!" Sarmoti called after them.

"Well that's one kid set straight." He bent down and picked up the newspaper. "I'm gonna hit the litterbox. HARD." He waved the paper in Larry's face and left.

**To Be Continued...**

**Like i said in A/N 1, I know I probably should have done this episode first but I wanted to do my favorites first. **

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**Dean the Cuddly Fox**


	14. Chapter 14: Sarmoti Moves In Part 2

**Chapter 14: Sarmoti Moves In Part 2**

Snack held onto the camera he found as he stood outside Chutney's house. The elephant was pissed at him because while he was supposed to take care of his faikas plant the previous weekend, he invited a bunch of gecko friends and threw a wild party. In short, he wrecked the place.

"You." Chutney said angrily down at the gopher as he glared. "Do you see what you have done?" The place had beer cans on the lawn and even a few geckos sleeping off hangovers. "You've trashed my crib!" The Hindu elephant picked him up and he slid down to the eyes. "I know you wouldn't come without my money, beeyatch."

Then Snack told Chutney his plan. "Secrets of the Secret Garden. Vegas Animals Raw and Unedited." The gopher said to the elephant who looked thoughtful.

"I'm listening. "The elephant said patiently.

"There are hundreds of bored prairie dogs that would love to see what kind of sick, twisted degenerates you celebrity animals are. All we have to do is record a few disgusting, twisted acts and we'll make millions." Snack explained.

Chutney looked extremely interested

"Gobble, gobble, gobble!" A turkey gobbled as he ran about their living room, dusting frantically.

."The turkey's just my room mate." Chutney said nervously as Snack raised an eye.

"Of course he is..." Snack said.

.A couple of days later, Sarmoti was telling Harry and Hunter a ghost story.

"I crushed him with boulders, but he just wouldn't die." Sarmoti said eerily. "So I finally, with all my remaining strength, pushed him off a cliff. He lay there still. His blood black in the moonlight. Harry and Hunter where both terrified. Even though Harry knew it was just a story Sarmoti could tell it well. Hunter was shaking. The flashlight he had aimed at their grandfather's face shaking as well.

"ITS ALIVE!" Sarmoti shoved the zebra rug's head into their faces. "ZOMBIE ZEBRA!"

Both boys screamed and ran into each other as Sarmoti laughed his head off. Somehow, Harry ended up with Hunter's cone on his head and attatched to the wall by the mouth of the cone like a suction cup. His body hanging as Kate and Larry got home.

"What's going on here?" Larry demanded as they saw a panicky Hunter without his cone and Harry on the wall.

"I was just telling them a little ghost story was all." Sarmoti chuckled.

"Ghost story? Dad you know Hunter has anxiety issues." Kate scolded the older lion as she consoled her son.

"Eh it was just a story Kate. Nothing to get anxious about." Sarmoti waved the anxiety comment off. "I'm off to the Watering Hole for the game." He said as he left.

"I can hear the Callahan's next door." Harry said with an echoed voice on the wall. "What's a skanky tramp?" He asked with curiosity. He'd heard many words on the street but was curious about these.

"I got ya buddy." Larry said as the overweight lion pulled on the human. "Stupid...Sarmoti...gah!" He finally got Harry loose as Kate came back in after putting Hunter to bed. They fell backwards onto the foot stool and launched Harry's grape juice into the air. It was still half full. The juice landed on Sarmoti's authentic zebra rug.

Kate gasped. "Oh my god." She said as she picked up the rug. "Its ruined."

"So? We'll just get him another one." Larry suggested.

"Larry you saw how much he loves this thing. He brushes its teeth." She said with distaste. "Of course, he did leave it in the middle of our living room. But hey, whatever makes him happy right? Cause he's the great Sarmoti." She said angrily as she started to rip the rug up with her razor sharp, manicured claws. "Is it that hard to remember a birthday?" She demanded as she fell on her back and ripped with her hind feet claws as well. "Its once a year! I wanted a pony!" She said angrily as she finally ripped off the zebra's head.

"Woah." Harry said in shock. His adopted mother normally kept her temper really well.

"Am I the only one turned on right now?" Larry asked as he tip toed his paw pads across Kate's shoulders. She glared at her husband. "Yes I am." He said as he yanked his hand back.

**To Be Continued...**

**Merry Christmas everyone! **

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**Dean the Cuddly Fox**


	15. Chapter 15: Sarmoti Moves In Part 3

**Chapter 15: Sarmoti Moves In Part 3**

Kate gasped as she finished her second alcoholic drink. And downed her third in under thirty seconds. "Oh god." She gasped as she caught her breath. "What did I do?"

I did it too. It was my juice. Harry thought with a grimace. He sipped his ginger ale to settle his slightly ill stomach from how he ruined Sarmoti's rug.

"So you lost it." Larry shrugged. "Its not a big deal."

"Larry it was his prized possession!" Kate said in a desperate voice. "You saw how much he loves that thing. He brushes its teeth."

"And that's not creepy at all?" Harry asked his adopted father.

"Very creepy." Larry nodded in agreement.

She added. "What are we going to do?"

"We'll just replace the rug." Larry suggested.

"Nice idea Larry." Kate said sarcastically. "Where are we going to get an authentic zebra rug?" Then they heard it.

"Five foot two, eyes of blue, "But oh what those five feet could do. Has anybody seen my...gal?" A zebra sang as he sat alone drinking a margarita. He ate the lime.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Kate asked the two evilly with a matching grin. Harry

s eyes widened at the implication. Sure it was an animal but they walked and talked like humans to him. Then again, he's lived on the Vegas Strip for a year and seen hookers, pimps, drug dealers and gambling addicts come and go. Should he really be surprised?

"Yeah." Larry chuckled. "I love that song." Kate glared at her husband and Harry rolled his eyes . "OH." Larry said realizing what she meant.

**...Don't Mind Me I'm A Line Break...**

"We can't do this can we?" Kate asked a short while later.

"No, of course not." Larry said casually as the two lions and lone human sat at the bar scoping out their "prey."

"Right." Kate said.

"Although we do need a rug. And lions in Africa do it all the time." Larry reasoned. "It looks like a hoot on TV." He chuckled deeply as Harry rolled his eyes at his dad again.

"Larry this isn't the Serangeti." Kate protested. "We live in a civilised community. I have a shower cap." She added.

"This is the Watering Hole." Snack's voice said as he was carrying a recording video camera. "Belly of decadence. Here's Larry, drug addled Vegas celebrity, blowing off some steam at one of our local holes." He focused on Kate. "Hello Shalamar."

"Snack what is this?" Larry asked he put a paw over the camera lens.

"I'm shooting a video expose'." Snack explained. "What's happening with you guys?"

"Well, mom and I kinda ruined Sarmoti's rug." Harry said nervously. "And we're...well...kind of window shopping." He looked over to the zebra as did Kate, Larry and Snack. They watched the zebra try to hail a waiter.

"Oh." The gopher said. "OH!" He picked up the camera. "Fox News'll love it! Vegas, The Strip. Where life is cheap and everything is for sale including _murder_." Snack made a close up of his eyes narrowing after "murder" in an impersonation of the City Confidential narrator. He zoomed in and out pointing the camera at the zebra

"Forget it Snack, there's no way we can do this." Kate said calmly.

"Right, you and Harry'll go to your dad, have a heart to heart, he'll forgive you."

"Yeah..." Harry said. "Let's whack the zebra." Sarmoti didn't exactly like him that much. At least not yet. He wasn't in any mood to be eaten by a lion.

"Right." Kate agreed.

"Really? Okay then." Larry said eagerly as they got up.

"But let's feel him out first. If he has a family forget it." Kate suggested.

Harry nodded in agreement. Remembering that babysitter a couple of weeks ago he was sure Larry ate because she vanished when they found out she was being somewhat abusive. Not physically, but verbally.

"Good thinking." Larry complimented. "But, make sure he's the one you want. I don't want this to be like the armoire where we get it home and we realize it doesn't fit in with the room." He said quietly as they walked up to the zebra.

Kate cleared her throat "Hello sir." The lioness said nervously. "My husband, son and I where noticing you where all alone here."

"Uh huh..." The zebra said. "Look, your both very attractive, but I don't go for that sort of thing. Or kids for that matter." He added making Harry blush. "But, you are kind of cute, look me up in about ten years hun." The zebra added in Harry's ear.

God are all males pervs? Harry wondered.

"Ahaha." Larry laughed nervously. "No no no no." "We just wanted to schmooze a little." The two lions sat on either side of their "prey," Harry sat next to Kate and the adults started chatting. "So, big night out on the town? Without the family?" He asked a little loudly.

"Oh I don't have any family." The zebra said off handedly. "

"Really? No family?" Larry looked to Kate who had a pained smile on her face.

Perfect. Harry thought evilly. Wearing a grin to match.

"No no, no family, no friends, nobody." The zebra said casually. "In fact if I disappeared off the face of the earth nobody would notice." He said as he looked at Kate and Larry separately. "Not a soul."

Even more perfect. The young human thought.

The zebra worked on finishing his margarita.

"The hunt is on." Snack said into the camera. "Excuse me garson, could I trouble you for a frosty glass of _murder_?" He said huskily at the end and zoomed in on his eyes narrowing.

**To Be Continued...**

**Harry is smart for his age. Almost on par with an adult like Hermione. **

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**Dean the Cuddly Fox**


	16. Chapter 16: Sarmoti Moves In Part 4

**Chapter 16: Sarmoti Moves In Part 3**

They eventually got the zebra to their home. And his parent's where chatting him up while eating...stuffed mushrooms...and Larry was about to "strike" with his claws out and mock roaring.

"Hey buddy." The zebra said dumbly. "You look tense." He said in a calm voice after

"Yeah." Larry said getting out of his game face. "I got this thing my wife wants me to do." He sat down next to the zebra.

**...**

"Well this is just great. How am I supposed to compete with Girls Gone Wild when I got lions serving their prey _stuffed mushrooms_?" Snack demanded after Larry said he couldn't kill the zebra cause he was "adorable" and "His hooves are magic" after being given a massage of sorts on his back. "Tell ya what, you need a zebra rug, and I gotta get a crazy, Hindu elephant off my ass. You help me, I'll help you."

"You can get an authentic zebra rug?" Kate asked skeptically.

"Yeah I'll jack one from Wayne Newton he's got like seven of 'em." The gopher waved it off as if it where no big deal. "FREAK." He made a face and started to leave. "I'll be back in an hour. But you owe me."

"Problem solved." Harry said eagerly. For once grateful that Larry and Snack where best friends.

"Unless my dad comes home early." Kate reminded the human boy.

"Well let's hope for the best then."

**...**

"And my family was constantly migrating so it was tough to make friends." Kevin was saying as he tapped the floor with his hooves. "During recess I got stuck playing with the hippos. And don't get me started on dodgeball. What kind of sick bastard came up with that?"

"We should have killed him." Harry groaned as he rubbed the temples on his head. The zebra was a nut job. Larry groaned in agreement.

"Come on boys, I'll give ya a tour of my new place." Sarmoti's voice came from the

"Awesome!"

"Booyah!" The voices of the Snout Brothers came along with the old lion's.

"Here he comes." Kate whispered quietly as she hurried back to the couch with Larry who wrapped an foreleg around her shoulder. "Just lie still." She hissed to Kevin who acted like he was a zebra. rug.

"Eugh, cat hair." Kevin said in a disgusted tone as Sarmoti opened the door.

"Hey dad." Kate greeted her father casually as Harry sat a few feet away from the couple reading a Criminal Minds novel.

"Hey Pumpkin." Sarmoti replied. "You know the Snout Brothers." He pointed to the mostly twins except for their fur colored boars with huge tusks. "We had a few beers after the game."

"How many beers did you have?" The older twin asked.

"Seventeen beers." The younger said proudly.

"Eighteen beers. Gay." The older twin declared. He jumped on the younger's back as he started doing push ups fast.

"Dad, its getting late and-"

"Sweetheart, not so much with the talking?" Sarmoti suggested as he moved over to Kevin.

Harry glared lightly at the old lion's back from the top of his book.

"You wanted to see him boys, well here he is. My trophy kill." He motioned down to Kevin who layed his ears back while Sarmoti wasn't looking.

"Awesome!" The brothers replied before the younger reached up and the older started punching his stomach. Though he didn't harm him in anyway. Because they abuse steroids.

"Did you miss me Brown Eyes?" Sarmoti asked as pet Kevin's back and his back right leg started moving up and down in happiness.

"Sarmoti!" Larry interrupted to distract him. Sarmoti looked over at Larry with a glare. "I love you." He said off handedly. The old lion looked at him weirdly and

"Hey, wait a second, this thing is dusty." The elderly lion said. "Boys, my cane." The older handed Sarmoti his cane and he smacked it against Kevin's back and Kevin shouted in pain.

Harry kicked the table with his bare foot and cried out in pain to cover for Kevin. "Hehe, sorry, kicked the table accidentally." He smiled sheepishly.

Sarmoti looked at the human strangely too. Then hit Kevin again and again he cried out in pain.

"OW!" Harry shouted again. The table moved visibly. "Hehe, stupid table." He chuckled quietly.

Giving the kid another look, Sarmoti stretched. "Well, its getting late, I'm gonna hit the sack."

"All right Sarmoti good game!" The older brother said.

"Yeah, good game!" The younger agreed.

"Oh that reminds me." The old lion said. "I gotta put my winnings in my poker winnings in my lucky safe. A place no one will ever look." He pulled Kevin's hind quarters up by the tail. "Fire in the hole." He aimed the bag of money.

"Okay, bank's closed." Kevin shot at Sarmoti as he got up.

"What the hell's going on here?" Sarmoti demanded to Larry who looked guilty.

"Mom?" Hunter said as came in rubbing his eyes sleepily. Then he saw Kevin where the rug used to be. He gasped. "ZOMBIE ZEBRA!" He shouted. "He will judge us for our sins! We're all unclean!" He ran for his life and ended up like Harry did that night with his cone attached to the wall.

Larry sat back with a groan as Kevin started to leave. Then Sierra came in. "What's this zebra head doing in the trash?" She asked as she brought up the zebra rug's head.

Everyone did their share of screaming. And Harry, Kevin, Sarmoti, Kate and Larry ended up under the couch as it turned over. With Harry groaning in pain next to Sarmoti as Kevin had kicked him in the head accidentally.

Kevin perked up. "Your gonna laugh, but I think the money ended up there anyway."

"Dad, this is hard to explain."

"Save it Kate. I know Larry ruined the rug. The kid probably helped too. Larry's always resented me and my smoldering virility. Which women find rugged yet sensitive. But not in a fruity way." He added. "And the kid's probably still mad that I tore through his Grisham novel last week by accident."

"No dad, it wasn't Larry, or Harry, it was me."

"You? Why?"

"Look dad, I love you so much...but since you moved in, I've been wanting to strangle you."

"Is it the hairballs?" Sarmoti asked.

"Its not the hairballs." Kate answered.

"Cause I can hurl them up outside.'

"Forget the hairballs." Kate said. "Its...nap time. Its the loud rat pack music, its butting in with the kids. Dad I wanna be a good daughter I do. But your driving me crazy!"

Behind Kate, the older Snout brother was on the younger's back on their nightly run. "Pump it, pump it, pump it." He kept saying as he ran past the lioness down the block.

Sarmoti merely smiled. and laughed heartily.

"What's so funny?" Kate asked.

"Your just like your mother." Sarmoti smiled fondly at the memory. "The sweetest woman in the world but when she got mad, watch out!"

"I don't even remember." Kate said sadly.

"Oh yeah, one time I told her she wasn't dusting right. I had to pee through a garden hose for a month. She knew when to put me in my place Kate" The elderly lion said calmly. "I loved that about her."

"So we're okay?

"Unless your giving out "happy endings" get outta my way." Sarmoti pushed Larry aside as he went back inside.

Harry dove behind the bench Kate and Sarmoti where on as Sigfried and Roy came up to the house. "Hello kitties." Roy said. "We just dropped by to check out ze new living arrangements. Is ze old man busting your stones?" Roy asked. "Huh?" He elbowed Sarmoti's cheek in jest.

"Remember zis kitties. Dad is in your house now, and he must play by your rules." Sigfried told the two lions while Harry daren't move behind the bench.

"And rule number one is Party, Hardy." Roy said eagerly. "Yah!"

"Roy, enough talking." Sigfried said. "I vant to shake it like a Polaroid picture." Sigfried said as the blonde german man pressed play on a boom box on his shoulder and music started playing music.

"Look out Sarmoti, you beautiful aging beast!" Roy called in the house. "Crazy Youth is in the house! Come on!" He said before putting on a fedora. The two germans danced into the house and Harry felt it safe to pop his head up as the two started "Partying" Shaking his head as Kate and Larry looked at each other oddly.

**End of Sarmoti Moves In**

**To Be Continued...**

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**Dean the Cuddly Fox. **


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